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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After about minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40479) - you deserved it (13601)
On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found a surveillance camera in my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39283) - you deserved it (2744)
On 10/17/2010 at 8:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15313) - you deserved it (18535)
On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33782) - you deserved it (7427)
On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24822) - you deserved it (21135)
On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31148) - you deserved it (7587)
On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38264) - you deserved it (10979)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45367) - you deserved it (4597)
On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16813) - you deserved it (15776)
On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend asked me out was because the fortune ball app on his iPod told him to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17730) - you deserved it (2335)
On 02/17/2010 at 1:38am - love - by amireallyloved - United States (California)
Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend asked me out was because the fortune ball app on his iPod told him to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17730) - you deserved it (2335)
On 02/17/2010 at 1:38am - love - by amireallyloved - United States (California)
Today, I found out my cousin - who suffers from bipolar disorder - shot herself in the chest and has only a 20 percent chance of living. I told my boyfriend, while crying, and he held me for a few minutes. As soon as I got quiet, he pulled out his iPhone and started playing a shooter game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30192) - you deserved it (2785)
On 02/17/2010 at 1:30am - love - by lynn (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6113) - you deserved it (24529)
On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I was shopping at Walmart when I ran into this stalker chick. She introduced me to her baby. He's named after me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24115) - you deserved it (1839)
On 02/13/2010 at 12:48am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the gym and saw an old friend. I have put on a lot of muscle in the past few months, and she said to me "Wow, you've really gotten big." Just by habit I said "You too." Turns out she's gained 45 lbs since I'd last seen her. Oops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7307) - you deserved it (18844)
On 02/04/2010 at 2:22am - health - by Tuffgunsmoke - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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