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imortal20

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imortal20

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 973
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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imortal20's page activity

Visits<b>ijustgiveup</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:00am<b>ManlyGoldfish</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 11:42am<b>xRake</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 11:11pm<b>aria78</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 9:46am<b>SubmersedFool</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 12:41pm

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imortal20's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47163) - you deserved it (17347)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found a surveillance camera in my room. FML

#13490049
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46477) - you deserved it (3620)

On 10/17/2010 at 8:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

#13481671
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19397) - you deserved it (25843)

On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

#13293107
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40132) - you deserved it (9441)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
418 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31002) - you deserved it (28052)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37888) - you deserved it (9626)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45607) - you deserved it (14553)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML

#8938821
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21000) - you deserved it (20205)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend asked me out was because the fortune ball app on his iPod told him to. FML

#8364969
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22862) - you deserved it (3035)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:38am - love - by amireallyloved - United States (California)

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend asked me out was because the fortune ball app on his iPod told him to. FML

#8364969
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22862) - you deserved it (3035)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:38am - love - by amireallyloved - United States (California)

Today, I found out my cousin - who suffers from bipolar disorder - shot herself in the chest and has only a 20 percent chance of living. I told my boyfriend, while crying, and he held me for a few minutes. As soon as I got quiet, he pulled out his iPhone and started playing a shooter game. FML

#8364770
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37056) - you deserved it (3741)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:30am - love - by lynn (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

#8250331
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8495) - you deserved it (32839)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by CrappyValentine (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart when I ran into this stalker chick. She introduced me to her baby. He's named after me. FML

#8191025
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30166) - you deserved it (2462)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:48am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the gym and saw an old friend. I have put on a lot of muscle in the past few months, and she said to me "Wow, you've really gotten big." Just by habit I said "You too." Turns out she's gained 45 lbs since I'd last seen her. Oops. FML

#7869432
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9712) - you deserved it (26710)

On 02/04/2010 at 2:22am - health - by Tuffgunsmoke - Sent from mobile version



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