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imnotbatman

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imnotbatman

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 673
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About imnotbatman : Hey :D I want to put something witty in this box, but I can't think of anything.

Uhm, Im socially awkward and I love mashed potatoes :D

imnotbatman's page activity

Visits<b>LovesSushi</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 12:36pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 5:35am

imnotbatman's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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imnotbatman's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that if you slip on ice, imitating Mario from Super Mario Bros when he attempts to stop himself slipping, won't work in real life. I now have a broken nose, as well as a blood trail running from my driveway into my kitchen. FML

#7568710
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7422) - you deserved it (27209)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

#7482237
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49456) - you deserved it (3931)

On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, one of my employees lit my tie on fire. FML

#7430304
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24404) - you deserved it (5334)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:00am - work - by mcdman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML

#7290118
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27770) - you deserved it (3699)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by brileyyyy - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46145) - you deserved it (2171)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

#6842444
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39889) - you deserved it (3168)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML

#6789867
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8461) - you deserved it (38563)

On 12/17/2009 at 4:58am - animals - by AnRom (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "so does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML

#6387420
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39190) - you deserved it (2470)

On 11/21/2009 at 12:59am - love - by Fail (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after a trip to my doctor I found out that my recent mood swings and hot flashes are the result of a hormonal imbalance that mimics the effects of menopause. I'm a 17 year old guy. FML

#6200798
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35115) - you deserved it (2002)

On 11/07/2009 at 7:38pm - health - by oldlady (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I volunteered to be Auctioned off for Charity. I went for $3. FML

#6130928
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36445) - you deserved it (6527)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:06am - money - by LC (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

#5822673
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21666) - you deserved it (12153)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was cutting the grass when I saw a man staring at me from my neighbor's garage. This went on for 5 minutes until I finally yelled 'hello'. There was no response, and I was creeped out, so I called my neighbor. It was a life-sized Paul McCartney cutout. FML

#5073384
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10859) - you deserved it (32208)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by cachow (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after going to T-Mobile thinking my phone won't receive texts, I found out that my phone is perfectly fine, my friends just don't text me back. FML

#4847720
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42870) - you deserved it (7618)

On 08/26/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by nofriends (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that I'm immune to laughing gas and partially immune to novocaine while I was getting two teeth pulled. FML

#4609790
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49583) - you deserved it (2524)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:14pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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