imnotbatman

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imnotbatman

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1188
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About imnotbatman : Hey :D I want to put something witty in this box, but I can't think of anything.

Uhm, Im socially awkward and I love mashed potatoes :D

imnotbatman's page activity

Visits<b>LovesSushi</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 12:36pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 5:35am

imnotbatman's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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imnotbatman's favorite FMLs

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

by rowie1311 / 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML

by phantomdriver / 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

by Nerrh / 03/12/2011 at 5:53am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my iPod to Walmart to replace the battery. They tell me to call Apple. I go home again and call Apple. They tell me to call Walmart. I call Walmart. They tell me to bring it in. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2010 at 6:04pm / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, I was bored so I got my little brother's toy spaceship and a teddy bear, went to my room and started flying them around, having dog fights, making explosion noises and humming epic orchestral music. My mom opened my bedroom door, showing our new hot female neighbour around the house. I'm 19. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2010 at 12:10am / Animals

Today, I discovered that I'm allergic to band-aids. I now have a band-aid shaped rash around a tiny cut on my leg. Oh the irony. FML

by twnty1 / 05/31/2010 at 11:43am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML

by Cheese4men / 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2010 at 8:43am / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

by DUMMIE / 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

by Username / 03/03/2010 at 11:34am / Health

Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML

by Anonymous / 03/02/2010 at 4:16pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML

by holycow / 02/22/2010 at 4:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous