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imnotbatman

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imnotbatman

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 642
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About imnotbatman : Hey :D I want to put something witty in this box, but I can't think of anything.

Uhm, Im socially awkward and I love mashed potatoes :D

imnotbatman's page activity

Visits<b>LovesSushi</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 12:36pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 5:35am

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imnotbatman's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

#17981660
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31452) - you deserved it (2224)

On 10/14/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML

#17861769
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9175) - you deserved it (20135)

On 09/29/2011 at 4:04am - work - by AngerManagement - United Kingdom

Today, my brother handed me a sandwich that I'd asked him to make for me. Halfway through eating the sandwich, he started laughing hysterically. I still don't know what was in it. FML

#17823625
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27065) - you deserved it (6547)

On 09/24/2011 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML

#17823429
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51959) - you deserved it (2607)

On 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29436) - you deserved it (8236)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27673) - you deserved it (3330)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

#17487537
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28540) - you deserved it (3409)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML

#17398453
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28227) - you deserved it (10456)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:29pm - work - by power corrupts... (woman) - Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

#17194109
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48026) - you deserved it (7809)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

#17044811
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40137) - you deserved it (6210)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

#16408581
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10307) - you deserved it (44029)

On 05/29/2011 at 9:45pm - work - by milkymoo (woman) - Cyprus

Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN'S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML

#16235251
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27350) - you deserved it (9677)

On 05/18/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37064) - you deserved it (10090)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, the pipe in the dining room sink suddenly broke open and in about 15 minutes my entire apartment was turned into an indoor swimming pool. The worst part? I was there the entire time, playing video games with my headphones on. FML

#16205255
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13215) - you deserved it (42574)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:04pm - misc - by o.v. (man) - Bangladesh

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32068) - you deserved it (6768)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -



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