About imnotbatman : Hey :D I want to put something witty in this box, but I can't think of anything.
Uhm, Im socially awkward and I love mashed potatoes :D
Mobility
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Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14378) - you deserved it (1309)
On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24714) - you deserved it (2556)
On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States
Today, I decided to look at the pictures my mom took during my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Every single one is of my sister. Her lighting the candles, her watching me open presents, and her eating cake. The only pictures of me are in the background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21612) - you deserved it (1078)
On 05/03/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15487) - you deserved it (3162)
On 05/01/2012 at 9:58am - work - by Nice (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5223) - you deserved it (19964)
On 04/26/2012 at 6:44am - work - by NoPrivacy (woman) - United States
Today, my brother and I were shoveling mulch. He pushed me in and then ran away, laughing hysterically. I was stuck in the mulch, and no one would help. I was literally in deep shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14596) - you deserved it (1554)
On 04/25/2012 at 7:08pm - misc - by horselover7766 - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17517) - you deserved it (2295)
On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16775) - you deserved it (1814)
On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35475) - you deserved it (2172)
On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24458) - you deserved it (1904)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I visited my doctor upon coming home from University. I found out that I'm severely allergic to our pet bunny, which has resulted in a rash taking over my body. She suggested that we get rid of the bunny. I told my mom. She told me to come home less often. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16717) - you deserved it (1840)
On 04/16/2012 at 11:47pm - animals - by booearns (woman) - United States
Today, while driving my car near a farm, I hit a man on the side of the road. I started freaking out and got out of the car to help him. It was then that I found out that I'd hit a scarecrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13470) - you deserved it (4461)
On 04/12/2012 at 7:53pm - misc - by questionmark707 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17655) - you deserved it (1204)
On 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19125) - you deserved it (2291)
On 04/10/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by kayadd33 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, the mouse trap I set in my kitchen worked. I caught a snake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22956) - you deserved it (1985)
On 04/06/2012 at 9:17am - animals - by rubberduckie94 (woman) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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