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imnotbatman

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imnotbatman

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 665
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About imnotbatman : Hey :D I want to put something witty in this box, but I can't think of anything.

Uhm, Im socially awkward and I love mashed potatoes :D

imnotbatman's page activity

Visits<b>LovesSushi</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 12:36pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 5:35am

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imnotbatman's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

#19840064
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22801) - you deserved it (1646)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (2883)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12734) - you deserved it (23050)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was running late and couldn't find my purse anywhere. My sleep-deprived brain came up with the brilliant idea of trying to phone it. FML

#19756229
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16630) - you deserved it (4262)

On 06/08/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by PEGASISTER FOR LIIIIIIIIFFFFFEEEEE!!!!! (woman) - Mexico

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

#19755042
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19389) - you deserved it (4908)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:36pm - health - by miss tomato (woman) - United States

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

#19738484
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27342) - you deserved it (3064)

On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML

#19731019
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26689) - you deserved it (3995)

On 06/04/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by nanall - United States

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11846) - you deserved it (41230)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

#19611170
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19681) - you deserved it (3979)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)

Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML

#19606582
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22107) - you deserved it (2959)

On 05/11/2012 at 9:24am - misc - by MobPerfect (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML

#19603388
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19779) - you deserved it (1946)

On 05/10/2012 at 5:22pm - health - by Jesse (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30208) - you deserved it (3068)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, I decided to look at the pictures my mom took during my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Every single one is of my sister. Her lighting the candles, her watching me open presents, and her eating cake. The only pictures of me are in the background. FML

#19569891
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27224) - you deserved it (1575)

On 05/03/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10887) - you deserved it (27028)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML

#19557716
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20691) - you deserved it (4393)

On 05/01/2012 at 9:58am - work - by Nice (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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