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imnotbatman

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imnotbatman

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 750
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About imnotbatman : Hey :D I want to put something witty in this box, but I can't think of anything.

Uhm, Im socially awkward and I love mashed potatoes :D

imnotbatman's page activity

Visits<b>LovesSushi</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 12:36pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 5:35am

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imnotbatman's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (2304)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML

#20191114
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10912) - you deserved it (20988)

On 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm - work - by Adan - United States (Washington)

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

#20176033
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25346) - you deserved it (1778)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to me that she has been sleeping with someone on her girls basketball team, which at first turned me on. Then I found out he's the team manager. FML

#20164114
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25524) - you deserved it (8243)

On 11/15/2012 at 8:37am - love - by SweetStuff88 (man) - United States

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25330) - you deserved it (7562)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26974) - you deserved it (2214)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26974) - you deserved it (2214)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19665) - you deserved it (6381)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

#20137874
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18487) - you deserved it (3599)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)

Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML

#20120590
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23268) - you deserved it (3924) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/17/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous - France (Bretagne)

Today, after saving up for weeks, I bought myself an iPad. Because mine is better than the one my parents bought my ten-year-old brother, he got pissed and threw it into our pool. I'm now grounded for getting angry and calling him a bastard in the aftermath. FML

#20112275
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34808) - you deserved it (2266)

On 10/11/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by future missing person maker person thingy (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, my boss fired me because of the way I laugh. Apparently it reminds him too much of his ex-wife's laugh. I'm a guy. FML

#20108910
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23856) - you deserved it (1854)

On 10/09/2012 at 9:57am - work - by Johnnogood (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML

#20090283
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18793) - you deserved it (2380)

On 09/26/2012 at 10:29pm - love - by - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML

#20089025
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28890) - you deserved it (1632)

On 09/26/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ahappypenguin -



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