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immortal628

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immortal628
  • Town/Country : Odenville, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 12 May 1985 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 750
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About immortal628 : I'm Jeremy. I'm a musician above all else, but I'm fairly certain there are other things I enjoy as well. I'm easy to talk to and I enjoy meeting new people. I am, however spoken for and I don't see that changing. So those are the basics. Ask if you wanna know more.

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This isn't what should be happening

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immortal628's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

#17753266
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29764) - you deserved it (17166)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28288) - you deserved it (4867)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#17742540
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29096) - you deserved it (2887)

On 09/14/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by jumpedjogger - United States (Georgia)

Today, after being cut out of the car, on the way to hospital in the ambulance, we were involved in another accident. FML

#17736251
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32400) - you deserved it (1866)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:07pm - health - by skitzobiatch69 - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML

Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML

#17699087
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34876) - you deserved it (4280)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6888) - you deserved it (56189)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, after falling on my way out the door, hitting a bird with my car, and sitting in an hour and a half of traffic, I remembered I had the day off work. FML

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

#17686832
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36758) - you deserved it (25390)

On 09/07/2011 at 4:51am - intimacy - by sadsadperson (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got junk punched by a midget in Sears for giving him "a funny look." I was trying to read the price of the fridge he was standing in front of. FML

#17683604
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22954) - you deserved it (2221)

On 09/06/2011 at 9:14pm - misc - by b3ardown23 - United States

Today, I was so starved of human contact that I almost took up a transsexual hooker's offer of a "good time." Nothing wrong with that really, but they looked like a haunted tree dressed as Liza Minnelli. FML

#17675561
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9493) - you deserved it (18701)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:38pm - intimacy - by Username (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML

#17669700
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23701) - you deserved it (2766)

On 09/05/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by thefrightening1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8103) - you deserved it (27169)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I found out that getting caught in a barbed wire fence isn't as bad as it sounds. Running through a forest at night, tripping over one, rolling down an embankment, and getting swiped by a car, however, is. FML

Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#17635834
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31367) - you deserved it (3516)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



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