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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 12 May 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1560
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About immortal628 : I'm Jeremy. I'm a musician above all else, but I'm fairly certain there are other things I enjoy as well. I'm easy to talk to and I enjoy meeting new people. I am, however spoken for and I don't see that changing. So those are the basics. Ask if you wanna know more.

immortal628's page activity

Visits<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 9:23pm<b>rebphil18</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 1:40am<b>Raltizal</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 7:09pm<b>dreadlocmask</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 12:19pm<b>Fennex3</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 4:46pm<b>yehyeh</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 1:47am<b>RutnaPapagia</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 10:55am<b>ariastyles12</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 5:53am<b>grayfmlbear</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:53pm<b>FiFiLovee</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 10:11pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/07/2011 at 10:50pm<b>azkollias08</b> - the 10/13/2011 at 8:56pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 10/12/2011 at 6:42am<b>KirstyDragon</b> - the 10/04/2011 at 8:15pm<b>Eviemeli</b> - the 09/26/2011 at 7:01pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 09/11/2011 at 10:26am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:05pm<b>onefinemess</b> - the 09/03/2011 at 8:14pm

immortal628's FML badges


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You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.


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immortal628's favorite FMLs

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2011 at 2:48am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

by Hypocrisy / 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML

by toughbf / 09/27/2011 at 4:28am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

by mimi / 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I went to Walmart to pick up some groceries. When I came out, the front end of my car was crushed in. On the window was a note only saying "Sorry I bumped into your car." FML

by This Guy / 09/26/2011 at 1:18pm / United States / Money

Today, while waiting in line at Gamestop, another customer and the cashier started chatting about how Pokémon is for kids, and anyone over 10 who's into it is weird. Embarrassed, I put the new Pokémon game back on the shelf and snuck out of the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2011 at 3:18pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

by ThisBlows / 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML

by PC Jones / 09/20/2011 at 10:56am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML

by Alexandra / 09/20/2011 at 4:25am / Lebanon / Intimacy

Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 4:27pm / United States / Love

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2011 at 1:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous