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immortal628

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immortal628

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 12 May 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 975
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About immortal628 : I'm Jeremy. I'm a musician above all else, but I'm fairly certain there are other things I enjoy as well. I'm easy to talk to and I enjoy meeting new people. I am, however spoken for and I don't see that changing. So those are the basics. Ask if you wanna know more.

immortal628's page activity

Visits<b>yehyeh</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 1:47am<b>RutnaPapagia</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 10:55am<b>ariastyles12</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 5:53am<b>grayfmlbear</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:53pm<b>FiFiLovee</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 10:11pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/07/2011 at 10:50pm<b>azkollias08</b> - the 10/13/2011 at 8:56pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 10/12/2011 at 6:42am<b>KirstyDragon</b> - the 10/04/2011 at 8:15pm<b>Eviemeli</b> - the 09/26/2011 at 7:01pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 09/11/2011 at 10:26am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:05pm<b>onefinemess</b> - the 09/03/2011 at 8:14pm<b>rakhil11</b> - the 09/03/2011 at 12:27am<b>siamesegoth2</b> - the 09/02/2011 at 6:36am<b>meeeaner_th</b> - the 09/01/2011 at 5:56pm<b>znorbnix</b> - the 09/01/2011 at 5:00pm<b>mrahhhhh</b> - the 09/01/2011 at 3:25pm

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Mobility

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See all of immortal628's badges

immortal628's favorite FMLs

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

#18191865
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27243) - you deserved it (8020)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:39am - misc - by StaplerScared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got shot at. Not by police, but by a hunter. While at work. Driving a garbage truck. How the hell a hunter mistook an orange-clad garbageman in a truck for a deer is beyond me. FML

#18188542
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30628) - you deserved it (2523)

On 11/07/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by lprocter1982 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

#18087484
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32250) - you deserved it (7961)

On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40611) - you deserved it (5233)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML

#18078195
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30982) - you deserved it (4929)

On 10/26/2011 at 1:43am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17334) - you deserved it (31352)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32972) - you deserved it (6438)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43061) - you deserved it (8689)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today, for our 3rd anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML

#18014393
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50086) - you deserved it (4557)

On 10/18/2011 at 10:16am - health - by stdpositivenow (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I thought I'd be helpful and pick up my Dad's car from the repairs shop for him while he was at work. So, on my own, I hopped in my car and I drove the 15 minutes out to the shop. Only upon arriving did I consider the situation I'd put myself in. FML

Today, I learned that it takes about half an hour to get melted cheese out of your hair. FML

#17956536
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19553) - you deserved it (5432)

On 10/10/2011 at 11:34pm - health - by jzappe - United States (California)

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

#17934817
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47379) - you deserved it (7310)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

#17934685
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17165) - you deserved it (24851)

On 10/08/2011 at 11:36am - misc - by anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML

#17918241
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19926) - you deserved it (9996)

On 10/06/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by xoccerplaya - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML

#17916537
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13017) - you deserved it (25390)

On 10/05/2011 at 11:59pm - health - by pixiebubz - Australia



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