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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60033) - you deserved it (5176)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14898) - you deserved it (33278)
On 02/01/2011 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theshameofit (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)
Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11329) - you deserved it (37914)
On 12/29/2010 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I figured out why my name is Ashley. In order to tell my older sister about getting a new little sister, my parents thought it would be a good idea to make her imaginary friend "Ashley" real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21439) - you deserved it (2064)
On 12/18/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25523) - you deserved it (7174)
On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32934) - you deserved it (4324)
On 11/29/2010 at 10:03pm - kids - by Laura -
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for halloween. He said "Single". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37869) - you deserved it (3641)
On 10/27/2010 at 2:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27155) - you deserved it (2481)
On 10/24/2010 at 8:21am - misc - by mzgabbster (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, finishing up in the shower room, I walked into the kitchen to get a drink. Apparently both bathrooms were occupied and my grandmother really had to go... She was bent over in the kitchen peeing into a cup. I may never be able to erase this image. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20582) - you deserved it (1642)
On 10/18/2010 at 7:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38242) - you deserved it (11260)
On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was sitting in my room watching TV when I heard my mother obnoxiously yelling for the dog. Minutes later she stomped into my room, swatted me over the head, and yelled at me for not answering when she called. She actually got my name mixed up with the dog's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26449) - you deserved it (1878)
On 10/07/2010 at 12:21am - animals - by lindsey789 (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I filed a missing persons report on my boyfriend. He was out fishing and then was supposed to meet me for a romantic weekend getaway. He never showed up and didn't respond to my texts. I found out, courtesy of a voicemail from the sheriff's department, that he'd broken up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27049) - you deserved it (3855)
On 09/12/2010 at 1:22am - love - by stood-up (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, after struggling with an eating disorder and hiding my symptoms for months, I got up the courage to tell my mom that I need help. Then she asked if an ice cream would make me feel better. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25273) - you deserved it (4750)
On 08/22/2010 at 9:42am - health - by nothanks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23680) - you deserved it (25018)
On 08/12/2010 at 9:01pm - intimacy - by Blueberrypicc (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20935) - you deserved it (9269)
On 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Zippermania9 (man) - United States (Oregon)
Monday 17 June 2013
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