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Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21068) - you deserved it (4373)
On 12/23/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by cj123 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9373) - you deserved it (42339)
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9373) - you deserved it (42339)
Today, my balls were stepped on while I was taking a nap in the park. The man said he didn't see me lying there. I was wearing a neon orange jacket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21976) - you deserved it (7899)
On 10/15/2011 at 12:33am - misc - by dak-rod423 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23430) - you deserved it (6436)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71993) - you deserved it (9157)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30759) - you deserved it (2352)
On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)
Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35996) - you deserved it (5808)
On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)
Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34427) - you deserved it (4789)
On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10320) - you deserved it (52645)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37583) - you deserved it (2378)
On 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13547) - you deserved it (58536)
On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52417) - you deserved it (9889)
On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40373) - you deserved it (14092)
On 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28353) - you deserved it (13125)
On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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