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iluvwaffles42

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iluvwaffles42

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 October 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 846
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About iluvwaffles42 : My name's Jesus. You can call me Jesus or Jesus (wutever floats your boat):D . I love waffles especially the Belgian kind with vanilla(; . I'm also a ninja but that's supposed to be a secret>;). Ketchup=yum but pickles are gross and mustard, relish and mayonnaise are too xP. I had a pet rock named Eduaro but he ran away:,( so I don't have any pets anymore. Also, please don't stalk me. It's a little creepy-.-. Messages will be ignored.(i only use the mobile app):D but other than that, I'm a pretty chill dude and I can be funny at times.

iluvwaffles42's page activity

Visits<b>JoonBee</b> - the 09/01/2011 at 4:32pm

iluvwaffles42's FML badges

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iluvwaffles42's favorite FMLs

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

#18390822
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34883) - you deserved it (5297)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

#18385235
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42508) - you deserved it (4940)

On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

#18342108
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27698) - you deserved it (2380)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States

Today, I realized that in my relationship with my significant other, the roles are switched. We went out for a nice dinner, I paid, and when we got home he "had a headache" and asked for an aspirin so he could go to sleep. FML

#18272596
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24865) - you deserved it (6148)

On 11/17/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Damnit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26731) - you deserved it (7941)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML

#18266824
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9142) - you deserved it (33041)

On 11/16/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by dunicha - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML

#18260922
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29567) - you deserved it (3276)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:23am - love - by dharp7 (man) - United States (California)

Today, on the subway, a woman got off without her suitcase. I grabbed the case, chased her onto the platform, and shouted, "You forgot your suitcase!" while the doors closed behind me. In actual fact, it wasn't her suitcase, and its actual owner was still on the train. FML

#18162360
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29644) - you deserved it (9961) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/05/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by Lavalise - France

Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

#18153680
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17154) - you deserved it (48959)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by me (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

#18150434
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32932) - you deserved it (8868)

On 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by KayleeXLoVe21 - United States (New York)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16884) - you deserved it (30646)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41651) - you deserved it (8477)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18286) - you deserved it (37016)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML

#18003683
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33785) - you deserved it (2386)

On 10/17/2011 at 12:20am - health - by blarp - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

#17288332
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31171) - you deserved it (2644)

On 07/28/2011 at 4:37pm - health - by shroooms (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)



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