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iluvwaffles42

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iluvwaffles42

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 October 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1365
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About iluvwaffles42 : My name's Jesus. You can call me Jesus or Jesus (wutever floats your boat):D . I love waffles especially the Belgian kind with vanilla(; . I'm also a ninja but that's supposed to be a secret>;). Ketchup=yum but pickles are gross and mustard, relish and mayonnaise are too xP. I had a pet rock named Eduaro but he ran away:,( so I don't have any pets anymore. Also, please don't stalk me. It's a little creepy-.-. Messages will be ignored.(i only use the mobile app):D but other than that, I'm a pretty chill dude and I can be funny at times.

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iluvwaffles42's favorite FMLs

Today, I did my old "toe-touch" cheerleading move to try to impress my 5-year-old daughter. When I landed, I broke my toe. FML

#18883527
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11048) - you deserved it (24756)

On 01/22/2012 at 7:49pm - health - by cheerymama (woman) - United States

Today, while over at a friend's house, I saw a framed picture of a young African boy on her fridge. I asked, "Oh, is this one of those kids you adopt from third world countries? My grandma does that too." She responded, "What do you mean? That's my cousin." FML

#18857503
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10406) - you deserved it (38414)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:33pm - kids - by WillaminaL (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML

#18844690
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34015) - you deserved it (3632)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm - health - by Shameful (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my family and I were burning our Christmas tree. For a laugh, my dad jokingly pushed me toward the fire. I tripped, and my doctor says the burns are probably going to scar. FML

#18805376
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43349) - you deserved it (3036)

On 01/14/2012 at 12:32pm - health - by frownyface - United States (Arizona)

Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML

#18778131
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37130) - you deserved it (4518)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47305) - you deserved it (4840)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

#18765651
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14762) - you deserved it (53249)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it's my anniversary. I've been a single cat-lady for exactly one year. FML

#18756211
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29186) - you deserved it (8237)

On 01/09/2012 at 11:56am - love - by catlady (woman) - United Kingdom (Bexley)

Today, I found out that the only two people I've had feelings for in years are both dating each other. FML

#18736387
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35287) - you deserved it (3907)

On 01/07/2012 at 2:47pm - love - by Forever Alone x2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was boarding a plane and an elderly woman asked if I could put her carry on into the overhead bin. Eager to help, I energetically lifted her bag up, and smacked her in the face with it. FML

#18722642
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31317) - you deserved it (6061)

On 01/06/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by plantfood - United States

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

#18691343
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27993) - you deserved it (13816)

On 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

#18685700
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48169) - you deserved it (7593)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML

#18642505
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24596) - you deserved it (4745)

On 12/29/2011 at 7:01am - health - by Girl-of-very-little-brain (woman) - Canada

Today, my extremely OCD girlfriend wouldn't have sex with me because my bedroom wasn't "properly symmetrical." FML

#18623946
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34000) - you deserved it (7013)

On 12/27/2011 at 10:20am - intimacy - by gtfoocd (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML

#18623921
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27970) - you deserved it (3077)

On 12/27/2011 at 10:15am - health - by themuffinman (man) - Japan



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