illjusbedamned

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illjusbedamned

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 October 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4675
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About illjusbedamned : Smarter than the average bear.

illjusbedamned's page activity

Visits<b>Justkidding100</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 1:03am<b>completenonsense</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 11:02pm<b>abb88</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 5:35pm<b>taranoelr</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 5:14pm<b>bitchs_and_hoes</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 3:04pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:55am<b>Sangogames</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 5:32pm<b>MissSpecialEd</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 5:46am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 1:08am<b>man_eating_bunny</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:38pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 12:34am<b>jubejube239</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 12:43am<b>ShivaLaserbean</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 10:05pm<b>midnightm16</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 11:59pm<b>lameuser</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 12:40am<b>KhrystallDaBest</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 5:33pm<b>allcapsfml</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 4:44am<b>_Jorahn</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 11:43am

illjusbedamned's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

illjusbedamned's favorite FMLs

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 3:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my sister and I had a huge fight because I flushed the toilet while she was taking a bath. The faucet for the bath was not running, but she insisted that she felt the water in the tub turn "scalding hot." She won't listen when I try to explain to her that it doesn't work like that. FML

by Raaaaage / 07/22/2012 at 2:54am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

by Epiphany / 07/19/2012 at 5:01am / United States / Health

Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML

by Awkward / 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I told my mom about the severe phobia I've developed towards driving. She was very supportive and even made me an appointment to see a psychologist. His office is two hours away. I have to drive to see my doctor about my fear of driving. FML

by anonymous / 07/18/2012 at 9:29pm / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

by mustachio101 / 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend. He won't go on a cruise with me in the gulf of Mexico, because he thinks we will crash into an iceberg like in Titanic. FML

by Alliente / 07/17/2012 at 5:11pm / United States / Love

Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2012 at 9:54am / Greece (Attiki) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML

by lovealways22 / 07/17/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change. FML

by oops123 / 07/16/2012 at 10:38am / United States / Kids

Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2012 at 10:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML

by turnedoff / 06/17/2012 at 9:00pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML

by kitty shah / 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous