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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5184
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About iljajlm : I've pretty much disowned this place at this point, so if you wish to contact me, look me up on facebook. :]!/profile.php?id=100001309809119

iljajlm's page activity

Visits<b>kino22x</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 2:14am<b>tamannab97</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 5:03pm<b>AlyKinks35</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 7:53am<b>Xhase</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:34pm<b>letsflytospace69</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 1:47pm<b>Prismo_Feeds</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 3:18am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:42am<b>deathhill3</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:13pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 12:01am<b>Jenna94</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 1:19pm<b>swick25</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 2:18pm<b>hyd</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 2:07am<b>CassandraGF</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 10:40am<b>evan_7899</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 5:56pm<b>allie2590</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 12:57am<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 1:50pm<b>LoveFabFour</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 9:50am<b>WubStep_</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 12:12pm

iljajlm's FML badges


You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of iljajlm's badges

iljajlm's favorite FMLs

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML

by Bewildered / 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Kids

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

by piratequeen / 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

by Ella / 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids