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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 April 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 16551
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ilikesexyparties : she ain't got no legs

ilikesexyparties's page activity

Visits<b>Helldemon</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 2:45pm<b>DeadxManxWalking</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 10:57pm<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 10:24am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 10:55pm<b>Shamandalie89</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 5:41am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 6:53am<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 1:10am<b>Jak0p</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 2:06pm<b>EatUrGreens</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 4:49am<b>nnnntr</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 5:29pm<b>rabidpeach</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 12:27pm<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 9:58am<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 10:16pm<b>HeatherFeatherB</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 4:45pm<b>afkwarrior</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 1:14pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:36pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 1:16am<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 9:02pm

Fucked!<b>Jak0p</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:06pm

ilikesexyparties's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ilikesexyparties's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML

by canadiankc / 06/03/2009 at 10:14pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a girl I knew from high school at the DMV and she started leaning forward. I thought she was leaning into hug me. So I just began to hug her. She was actually trying to throw something in the garbage. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2009 at 6:07am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Florida) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

by badmom / 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an elaborate plan to ask this girl to Prom, and it was going to take a few minutes to set up. I asked my friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to Prom. She said "Yes". FML

by Kaeyne / 03/24/2009 at 11:41am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

by JohnMackSquirts / 03/19/2009 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

by bluten / 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

by SmoothTalker / 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

by whatdoyoudo / 03/16/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

by illequipt / 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running I passed my girlfriend's parents who were out for a walk. Trying to make a good impression, I stopped to talk. When I got home I realized I was wearing a shirt that friends gave me as a joke. It said "Blow me, bitch. It's my b-day." FML

by Noname / 03/15/2009 at 3:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy