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iforgotgamertag

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iforgotgamertag
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iforgotgamertag's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML

#20671062
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30321) - you deserved it (4103)

On 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by look at the fucking universe, lady (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was cleaning dishes in the back. I started to sing to myself. During the chorus I heard the echo of my voice in my ear. My boss had pushed the talk button on my headset so every staff member and everyone in the lobby could hear me over the intercom. FML

#20653580
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38041) - you deserved it (7543)

On 05/10/2013 at 12:44am - work - by legit247 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I started the bleaching treatments that my dentist recommended. Now, my two front teeth have ultra white spots, the rest of my teeth are still yellow and the roof of my mouth is burned. FML

#20653345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35541) - you deserved it (7030)

On 05/09/2013 at 11:11pm - health - by ZydecosGirl - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend found a letter I'd written to myself for moral support while we were broken up, in which I explained why we would never work out. Apparently I made a convincing argument. FML

#20645173
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31365) - you deserved it (30753)

On 05/06/2013 at 10:24am - love - by Alone (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

#20643761
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18467) - you deserved it (36126)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by LilaTheGreat - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19733) - you deserved it (36763)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

#20623610
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35131) - you deserved it (6944)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my sister was crying to me about how her boyfriend never showed up for their date. He's done this many times before, so I suggested the fact that maybe he'd just ditched her. She said that was ridiculous, because "he's Canadian" and according to her, "they don't lie." FML

#20621115
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38466) - you deserved it (4101)

On 04/25/2013 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was sent to group therapy. A girl spent twenty minutes telling us horrible details of having been raised incestuously. A side effect of my new medication is yawning. FML

Today, I answered a call at work from a very irate gentleman. After being shouted and sworn at profusely, I ended the call in a slightly less than civil manner. Turns out that guy is one of our company's biggest clients. FML

#20615900
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24953) - you deserved it (35548)

On 04/23/2013 at 2:25pm - work - by hatemyjob (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was feeling really sick at work. I messaged my boss whether his girlfriend, who also works there, could cover me. He then came down, shouting at me that whatever illness I have, I've also passed on to his girlfriend. I'm pregnant. FML

#20612786
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41693) - you deserved it (2803)

On 04/22/2013 at 9:22am - work - by work -_- - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28585) - you deserved it (94553)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, my mother met my sister's boyfriend for the first time. As we talked about it later over dinner she said she didn't like him. When I asked why, she paused for a second and said, "Well, he really reminds me of you." FML

#20611376
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34059) - you deserved it (2492)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:27pm - misc - by Ellwood - United States

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53019) - you deserved it (9756)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML

#20539298
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33084) - you deserved it (1504)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by cunts, cunts everywhere - Australia



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