Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ifknh8usernames

Search for a member

ifknh8usernames

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 642
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ifknh8usernames : It's not what it looks like.

ifknh8usernames's page activity

Visits<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 9:00pm<b>byefelicia1992</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 2:46pm<b>levodkamartini</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 11:53am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 2:47pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 7:18pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 5:19pm<b>staaacey</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 9:37pm<b>tifdunc</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 11:38pm<b>hotwheels19</b> - the 09/16/2013 at 10:41am<b>k_gils</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 8:32pm<b>StanleyCreasman</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 3:18pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 6:12am<b>Rob2342</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 10:51pm<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 3:49am<b>ebolson</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 11:23am<b>yoargh</b> - the 10/22/2012 at 7:54am<b>what_ever2007</b> - the 06/15/2012 at 6:39pm<b>lolle_p0p</b> - the 05/30/2012 at 11:18am

ifknh8usernames's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of ifknh8usernames's badges

ifknh8usernames's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

#19336672
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27805) - you deserved it (10498)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)

Today, I got threatened with a gun through the drive thru speaker because I didn't offer some guy any pies to go with his meal. FML

#19291503
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23745) - you deserved it (2800)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:37am - work - by CDeVeney92 - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML

#19288594
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24520) - you deserved it (14367)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

#19285505
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31029) - you deserved it (4311)

On 03/15/2012 at 10:21pm - love - by spermbankonlegs (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

#18242868
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30885) - you deserved it (4171)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finished a very important but annoying presentation that took four hours to complete. Only after writing a paragraph to explain the presentation and sending it to my boss did I realize that I saved the document as "Shit I have to do to get a promotion." FML

#18231005
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10632) - you deserved it (38994)

On 11/12/2011 at 7:36pm - work - by TTR (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML

#17999888
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30109) - you deserved it (5811) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm - work - by Mayabie - France

Today, it turns out that my hairy feet are the most memorable part about me. My family's named me "the hobbit". FML

#17991756
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22086) - you deserved it (3714)

On 10/15/2011 at 6:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my roommates thought I wasn't home and started talking about me. Apparently I'm a lesbian, devil worshiper, and an alcoholic. I didn't know my life was so fascinating. FML

#17964342
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30419) - you deserved it (2821)

On 10/11/2011 at 11:34pm - misc - by FroggyGirl888 - United States

Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML

#17962903
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23464) - you deserved it (11791)

On 10/11/2011 at 9:11pm - love - by Andrew - United States (Florida)

Today, my 20 year old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

#17897207
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31687) - you deserved it (5043)

On 10/03/2011 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my 20 year old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

#17897207
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31687) - you deserved it (5043)

On 10/03/2011 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

#17888720
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25118) - you deserved it (2956)

On 10/02/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by scared (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML

#17874852
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29685) - you deserved it (2932)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm - kids - by jesus christ - United States

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25736) - you deserved it (6094)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: