About icyfire617 : I'm not a bird
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Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54548) - you deserved it (9167)
On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)
Today, while working in childcare, we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey", the kids lost their shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26620) - you deserved it (1909)
On 03/19/2013 at 1:00am - work - by seriously! - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had to help my little sister do a first-grade project for school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of their role model. She drew a whale, and I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed and said, "No! It's you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29398) - you deserved it (3743)
On 03/05/2013 at 3:19pm - kids - by peace out - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17275) - you deserved it (32631)
On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30064) - you deserved it (1846)
On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17018) - you deserved it (29659)
On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)
Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23409) - you deserved it (2074)
On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)
Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27363) - you deserved it (1754)
On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29768) - you deserved it (3027)
On 12/22/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by divingconfidence (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27111) - you deserved it (14052)
On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)
Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16602) - you deserved it (3684)
On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20874) - you deserved it (2061)
On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26105) - you deserved it (9193)
On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20428) - you deserved it (1706)
On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)
Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14698) - you deserved it (2191)
On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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