This member hasn't filled in the description.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31297) - you deserved it (2940) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30736) - you deserved it (2950)
On 12/12/2011 at 4:45pm - kids - by Santa - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36931) - you deserved it (2822)
On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27742) - you deserved it (4474)
On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27742) - you deserved it (4474)
On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29075) - you deserved it (3680)
On 11/18/2011 at 7:22am - work - by Anothernametaken (man) - United States
Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23528) - you deserved it (2225)
On 10/19/2011 at 5:40am - misc - by targe - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23196) - you deserved it (4128)
On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States
Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31954) - you deserved it (2002)
On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36129) - you deserved it (1906)
On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33729) - you deserved it (513)
On 08/03/2011 at 9:19pm - animals - by roze198765 - United States
Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (28660) - you deserved it (5799)
On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)
Today, my boss's cat died. I'm expected to attend the service. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26012) - you deserved it (3533)
On 06/03/2011 at 12:47am - work - by whymyliferose - United States (Oregon)
Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70676) - you deserved it (4720)
On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42862) - you deserved it (6323)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
