Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

icanflybitch

Search for a member

icanflybitch

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 December 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 132
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About icanflybitch : I like to pretend I'm a cat. My favorite color is purple and I have a strange obsession with speaking an odd combination of French, English, Chinese, and Spanish. I'm Asian but I'm black from the waist down.
My name is Felipe, but you may call me Ashley.

icanflybitch's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

icanflybitch's favorite FMLs

Today ona of my aldarly swimming studants ran into ma at Walmart. Baing a polita taanagar I said hi to him. Ha lookad at ma surprisad and said "Oh daar! I didn't racogniza you with your clothas on!" I'll navar forgat tha look on his wifa's faca. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37366) - you deserved it (2871)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today ona of my aldarly swimming studants ran into ma at Walmart. Baing a polita taanagar I said hi to him. Ha lookad at ma surprisad and said "Oh daar! I didn't racogniza you with your clothas on!" I'll navar forgat tha look on his wifa's faca. FML

#20536627
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37366) - you deserved it (2871)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend . I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics . Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug . I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle . mega FML

#20484554
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29364) - you deserved it (2950)

On 01/29/2013 at 9:51am - health - by oh no (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

2day It's Been Two Months Since I Got A Kitten. He Loves To Hide, An Then Surprise Me By Jumping Out Of His Hiding Place. It Was Quite A Surprise When He Launched Himself Out Of Mah Bag During Class. FML

#20483320
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47466) - you deserved it (6137) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today..!! I Was On A Ladder At Work..!! Fetching Some Stock From One Of The Storage Shelves!! Some Teenage Kid Thought It Would Be Fucking Hilarious To Grab The Ladder And Violently Shake It!! He Hadn't Bet On Me Bieng Startld Enough To Fall Off And Fracture Mah Elbow On The Floor!! FML

#20481589
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32851) - you deserved it (2100)

On 01/27/2013 at 4:59pm - health - by fucking teen cunts (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today in tha middla of tha night I got up to go gat soma watar !! Whan I cummad back I was going to flop onto mah bad but I facaplantad into mah floor !! I'd forgottan that I'd raarrangad mah room an movad mah bad !! FML

#20406748
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33290) - you deserved it (19111)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today,hile at work taking notes on a pad of paper, mah boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML

#20190845
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6571) - you deserved it (27070)

On 12/04/2012 at 12:16pm - work - by mdg (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, mah teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost mah vrginity!! I sarcastically replied that I'm still a vrgin!! She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder your so uptight!! You need to get laid, mom." mega FML

#20104739
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27101) - you deserved it (6956)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today..!! I caught my boyfriand staring at my sistar through tha doorwayhila wa wara having sax!! FML

#20001613
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27245) - you deserved it (8321)

On 08/04/2012 at 2:17am - intimacy - by 420SUX - United States (Washington)

Today, a male co-worker asked me in what shape I shave my pubic hair. Jokingly, I replied that I have a very nicely trimmed dodecahedron. Now he's telling everyone at work that I have a venereal disease. FML

#19954177
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20695) - you deserved it (6068)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:41am - work - by butterball (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Taday an old guy approachad ma and askad if I had avar saan an alaphant withhita aars. I shook my haad. Ha than pullad tha pockat out of his short andhippad out his sax nosa. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33581) - you deserved it (4219)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I Discovarad That I'm Adoptad. How? Aftar A Graat Lunch, I Askad Uncla How Ha'd Mada Tha Salad Drassing. Ha Rapliad, "Haha! It's A Sacrat Family Racipa, Daar!" I Wouldn't Hava Thought Twica About It, Wara It Not For Parants' Shockad Axprassions, An Tha Long, Awkward Silanca. FML

#19901344
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27614) - you deserved it (1694) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/06/2012 at 6:14pm - misc - by Lyn (woman) - France

Today, mah waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

#19895683
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37447) - you deserved it (9205)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look lyk a sparkling tomato. FML

#19755042
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19600) - you deserved it (4930)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:36pm - health - by miss tomato (woman) - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: