Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

iateapenguin

Offline (the 11/30/2014 at 9:43pm) | Search for a member

iateapenguin

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 655
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

iateapenguin's page activity

Visits<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:27pm<b>davemcg89</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 6:10pm<b>Sinclair935</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 3:38pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:58pm<b>frozenlover218</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:25pm<b>kazuto_jaeger</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:02am<b>feeltheluck</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 10:38pm<b>gshocker20</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 4:40pm<b>Manosapo</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:24pm<b>lb562</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 8:50pm<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:12pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 2:30am<b>aron1991</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 6:03am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 3:38pm<b>Prerogative</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 7:20pm<b>witcher</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 10:14am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:05pm<b>Liiiiiiiiike</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:57am

iateapenguin's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of iateapenguin's badges

iateapenguin's favorite FMLs

Today, I held the door open for an old lady, before realizing she was a teacher taking 20-plus kids to lunch at local burger joint, all of whom got in front of me in the line to order. FML

#21304463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31350) - you deserved it (4312)

On 11/23/2014 at 12:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

#21303774
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33542) - you deserved it (3691)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:44am - love - by drop dead single (woman) - United States

Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML

#21302784
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32330) - you deserved it (3542)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after realizing my flashcards had fallen out of my binder, I asked my teacher if I could quickly go to my locker to get them. She said no and told me to go sit down. As soon as class ended, I went to my locker and brought them to her. Her response? "Why didn't you ask me to get these during class?" FML

#21301020
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35021) - you deserved it (2464)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:10pm - work - by ohgosh... (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally found out why my husband is always so eager and happy to buy me whatever I am craving during my pregnancy. It's because it gives him an excuse to meet up with his mistress and have a quickie. FML

#21294259
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52299) - you deserved it (2941)

On 11/07/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

#21291810
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43054) - you deserved it (6515)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:03am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25846) - you deserved it (52080)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

#21277056
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44608) - you deserved it (2967)

On 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm - health - by clumsylobster - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33556) - you deserved it (4570)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years, who can't get it up for me and has been blaming blood pressure issues, apparently has no problem getting it up while watching the neighbor undress from our window. FML

#21276105
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38602) - you deserved it (4201)

On 10/12/2014 at 9:21am - intimacy - by MotherMary - United States (Missouri)

Today, as a restaurant manager, I had a large party of difficult guests. They sat in their private room they'd reserved for three-and-a-half hours, then caused a huge scene when it was time to pay. One guy even ran at me like he was going to hit me. FML

#21276013
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32458) - you deserved it (2248)

On 10/12/2014 at 2:40am - work - by stressed - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

#21275111
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32641) - you deserved it (19198)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31421) - you deserved it (14448)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML

#21270617
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35731) - you deserved it (2954)

On 10/04/2014 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47359) - you deserved it (3523)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: