Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

iateapenguin

Offline (15 hours ago) | Search for a member

iateapenguin

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 757
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

iateapenguin's page activity

Visits<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 11:53pm<b>Nickb55</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 6:46am<b>saffy66</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 7:28am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:27pm<b>davemcg89</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 6:10pm<b>Sinclair935</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 3:38pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:58pm<b>frozenlover218</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:25pm<b>kazuto_jaeger</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:02am<b>feeltheluck</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 10:38pm<b>gshocker20</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 4:40pm<b>Manosapo</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:24pm<b>lb562</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 8:50pm<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:12pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 2:30am<b>aron1991</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 6:03am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 3:38pm<b>Prerogative</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 7:20pm

iateapenguin's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of iateapenguin's badges

iateapenguin's favorite FMLs

Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML

#21343482
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29997) - you deserved it (1990)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:25pm - misc - by Elrond Hubbard (man) - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML

#21340122
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35712) - you deserved it (2360)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML

#21339980
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33584) - you deserved it (5207)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:35am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, as I tried to get off the bus, my bag and the hand holding it got stuck between the exit doors. I dropped the bag in panic, but the driver wouldn't let me off until we got to the next stop. I had to walk all the way back to get my bag. FML

#21335674
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28390) - you deserved it (2680)

On 01/12/2015 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Italy (Veneto)

Today, I was fired for "blatant, inexcusable racism". My boss had asked me which website background I preferred for our company, and I said that white backgrounds are usually best. He thinks that I believe in white supremacy, and that's bad for the company's image. FML

#21334747
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31700) - you deserved it (2191)

On 01/10/2015 at 10:02pm - work - by Jem (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, a girl from class screamed at me in public for hugging the guy she likes. She threatened to take me out if I didn't "back off". That guy is my boyfriend. FML

#21333251
112 comments

Today, I held the door open for an old lady, before realizing she was a teacher taking 20-plus kids to lunch at local burger joint, all of whom got in front of me in the line to order. FML

#21304463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31458) - you deserved it (4322)

On 11/23/2014 at 12:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

#21303774
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34428) - you deserved it (4024)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:44am - love - by drop dead single (woman) - United States

Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML

#21302784
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32405) - you deserved it (3546)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after realizing my flashcards had fallen out of my binder, I asked my teacher if I could quickly go to my locker to get them. She said no and told me to go sit down. As soon as class ended, I went to my locker and brought them to her. Her response? "Why didn't you ask me to get these during class?" FML

#21301020
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35070) - you deserved it (2466)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:10pm - work - by ohgosh... (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally found out why my husband is always so eager and happy to buy me whatever I am craving during my pregnancy. It's because it gives him an excuse to meet up with his mistress and have a quickie. FML

#21294259
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53571) - you deserved it (2954)

On 11/07/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

#21291810
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43835) - you deserved it (6568)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:03am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26570) - you deserved it (53128)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

#21277056
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44650) - you deserved it (2976)

On 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm - health - by clumsylobster - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35548) - you deserved it (5157)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: