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iambean

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iambean
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13160
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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iambean's favorite FMLs

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30953) - you deserved it (2679)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30019) - you deserved it (8708)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

#17457165
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14780) - you deserved it (23419)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was camping with my family, and had to share a tent with my 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee, but instead of going outside to use the bathroom, he zipped open a section of the tent, stuck his knob through it, and peed all over my shoes that were drying outside. FML

#17431437
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26467) - you deserved it (2511)

On 08/10/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by jakethed0g (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML

#17425463
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26839) - you deserved it (933)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:48am - misc - by thatfatkid - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got my eyebrows waxed. The lady who waxed my eyebrows also decided to pop the big zit on my forehead. She charged me a dollar extra. FML

#17418334
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30008) - you deserved it (6475)

On 08/09/2011 at 1:35pm - misc - by pizzaface - United States

Today, while zooming down the interstate, I had to tell my husband to put his penis away. FML

#17400006
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24033) - you deserved it (5764)

On 08/07/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Wife - United States

Today, I was walking along a crowded pier when I stopped to read a sign next to an oddly placed bush. Not even two seconds later, a man popped out of the bush and made me wet myself. People were filming it. FML

#17399752
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18759) - you deserved it (3355)

On 08/07/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Polmkk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML

#17394745
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20197) - you deserved it (2870)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by fugachumi - United States (Texas)

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37019) - you deserved it (6968)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

#17365713
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9243) - you deserved it (69953)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

#17362826
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41878) - you deserved it (2788)

On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

#17359587
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37093) - you deserved it (3595)

On 08/03/2011 at 9:19pm - animals - by roze198765 - United States

Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML

#17355075
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21200) - you deserved it (1968)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by doomeddaddy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

#17352313
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39021) - you deserved it (5320)

On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States



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