i_love_germany

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i_love_germany

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2179
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About i_love_germany : this is none of your business

i_love_germany's page activity

Visits<b>over_getting_old</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 10:36pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 10:40am

i_love_germany's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

i_love_germany's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML

by helpfulmom / 07/26/2009 at 2:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML

by Headphones / 07/21/2009 at 5:38pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

by uh-oh / 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

by fmjob / 07/21/2009 at 12:39am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy

Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears. The very heavy cashier asks how big my gauges are and then starts telling me about how she recently got her clitoris pierced and how sometimes she has orgasms behind the register. FML

by toomuchmetal / 06/24/2009 at 3:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML

by automaticfail_00 / 06/17/2009 at 7:27pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2009 at 12:25am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

by quadropheniac / 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

by SleepyKirsty / 06/09/2009 at 9:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2009 at 4:14am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

by OhGeez / 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML

by BW / 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML

by Person / 06/07/2009 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, goes "it's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML

by Weezylover / 05/26/2009 at 4:24am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2009 at 4:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy