i_love_germany

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i_love_germany

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2411
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About i_love_germany : this is none of your business

i_love_germany's page activity

Visits<b>over_getting_old</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 10:36pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 10:40am

i_love_germany's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

i_love_germany's favorite FMLs

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML

by Busted / 10/21/2009 at 5:25pm / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than a kitten who pounces on things that wiggle under the blanket. FML

by JohnB / 10/19/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

by damnit / 10/16/2009 at 1:27pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML

by Taraa3 / 10/10/2009 at 6:19am / United Kingdom (Hartlepool) / Intimacy

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend in his room, wearing his boxers. He told me this story about how one time he had diarrhea when he was stuck in traffic and had not choice but to poop himself. I asked him what prompted this story. He said I was wearing the boxers he pooped in. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2009 at 10:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to my best friend. After admitting to me that he's gay, I gave him a hug for support and comfort, feeling his erection on my upper thigh. FML

by betchyo / 10/01/2009 at 2:10am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2009 at 1:56am / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Intimacy

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

by P0wned / 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, I was at my friend's dorm eating supper. He and all his roommates are Chinese, and since I'm majoring in Chinese, I could understand what they were talking about. Too bad none of his friends knew that, and talked about banging me while I was sitting there. FML

by NiHao / 09/27/2009 at 11:16pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I listened to my voice mail messages for the first time in months. One was from my Grandma that must have been meant for Gramps. I think I know now why my mother has so many siblings. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2009 at 8:52am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2009 at 1:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I told my mother that I'm pregnant. She went off screaming at me about how I shouldn't be having sex. I am 25 and have been happily married for 3 years. FML

by Confused / 09/15/2009 at 5:58am / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, my wife and I were doing it when the phone rang. She answered it, and rode me while carrying on a more than a five minute conversation with her father. FML

by 0ros / 09/12/2009 at 6:13pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy