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i_love_germany

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i_love_germany
  • Town/Country : ---, ---
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1379
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About i_love_germany : this is none of your business

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i_love_germany's favorite FMLs

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

#6401581
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16689) - you deserved it (3315)

On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - intimacy - by lonewolf2701 - United States

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

#6401581
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16689) - you deserved it (3315)

On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - intimacy - by lonewolf2701 - United States

Today, I was at a zoo with some friends in Germany. People were talking to this bird and it responded in complete, grammatically correct German sentences. One of my friends said 'Wow, that bird has better grammar than the exchange student!' A bird speaks better German than me. FML

#6389403
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23266) - you deserved it (4315)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:19am - animals - by bird-brain (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML

#6367890
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23061) - you deserved it (3190)

On 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by pussystroker (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML

#6348430
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36361) - you deserved it (1479)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm - misc - by usmcgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML

#6340257
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10557) - you deserved it (32298)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:12am - misc - by Araya (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML

#6312781
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9179) - you deserved it (17439)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by loldick (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend told me that every time he has sex with me he thinks about some mutant bunny chick from "Final Fantasy." FML

#6268793
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17391) - you deserved it (3234)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, before having morning sex, my girlfriend for over a year whispers to me "Do that thing you did at the Halloween party". There was no morning sex as I reminded her that I was sick with the flu then and didn't go with her to the party. FML

#6166479
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21893) - you deserved it (1976)

On 11/05/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by James (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my fifty-five year old uncle had taken my phone and texted my girlfriend saying "I'm his uncle, send tit pics." She did. FML

#6118841
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18314) - you deserved it (1657)

On 11/02/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by whatthef - United States

Today, I received a 4 page text message from my mom explaining what she was going to do to me tonight in full detail. I am one name below her boyfriend on her contact list. FML

#6094317
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25339) - you deserved it (1966)

On 11/01/2009 at 12:35am - intimacy - by Nomoretexting (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

#6089895
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19353) - you deserved it (2362)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by thornrose22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML

#6040415
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6425) - you deserved it (28699)

On 10/28/2009 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by Moody (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

#6001058
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13206) - you deserved it (8469)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Brian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28865) - you deserved it (7979)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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