i_love_germany

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i_love_germany

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2116
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About i_love_germany : this is none of your business

i_love_germany's page activity

Visits<b>over_getting_old</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 10:36pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 10:40am

i_love_germany's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

i_love_germany's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML

by Nick / 01/26/2010 at 4:26pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Kids

Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML

by Fonz / 01/26/2010 at 9:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 3:47am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

by Ben / 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, to my surprise my girlfriend said, "I've never felt this way before." We have been dating for six months, and I knew that I loved her, so I replied, "Me neither, I love you." There was a long awkward pause. Turns out, she was talking about her abnormally painful period cramps. FML

by dan / 01/24/2010 at 7:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I took a picture of my "privates" on my girlfriends cell phone and set it as her background without her knowing. Minutes later, I heard her mom scream. She has the same phone. FML

by masterzach21 / 01/22/2010 at 1:25am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a little "fun" in our secluded backyard. It was only after we had finished that we noticed the three little girls, who live next door, jumping up and down on their trampoline, with their mouths wide open. FML

by Tattooed_Blonde / 01/20/2010 at 7:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

by ilovesocks / 01/20/2010 at 1:17am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML

by sportyhusband / 01/19/2010 at 10:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years role-plays on the internet, pretending to have sex with men. His response when I confronted him about it? "Which specific incidents are you referring to?" FML

by heterolifepartner / 01/18/2010 at 1:03am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2010 at 7:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

by pleasedtomeetyou / 01/13/2010 at 11:42am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend dumped me so he could sleep with my mom without feeling guilty. FML

by notasgood / 01/12/2010 at 6:54pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

Today, two weeks after reporting our car was broken into, the police showed up to our flat. They came to inform us that our car was was broken into. We explained that we knew this and reported it weeks ago. Apparently, it was broken into again, and set on fire this time. FML

by zenithbelana / 01/10/2010 at 2:01am / United States (Maryland) / Transportation