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About i_love_germany : this is none of your business
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17069) - you deserved it (1894)
On 02/21/2010 at 2:04am - intimacy - by C.Neyy (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, my phone rang, and I instinctively tried to pick it up with the Force. I kept trying until it stopped ringing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3780) - you deserved it (27721)
On 02/20/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by analinguist (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I took the train to work. There was an older man standing behind me. Everytime I tried to edge away from him, he edged closer. Everytime the train rocked even slightly, his crotch made contact with my behind. It was an extremely bumpy train ride. I could also tell when he became hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15319) - you deserved it (1605)
On 02/20/2010 at 5:54am - intimacy - by trainhump (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my girlfriend of two years called me, drunk, telling me how much anal sex hurts with some other guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17887) - you deserved it (1463)
On 02/20/2010 at 1:04am - intimacy - by VahnSeiro (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13052) - you deserved it (2916)
On 02/19/2010 at 9:27am - intimacy - by kit_kat14 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9090) - you deserved it (3017)
On 02/18/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by goldie09 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14591) - you deserved it (1513)
On 02/17/2010 at 1:40am - intimacy - by thatssickkk - United States (California)
Today, I made heart shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11503) - you deserved it (2456)
On 02/14/2010 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by adam - United States (Illinois)
Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11278) - you deserved it (4490)
On 02/13/2010 at 1:51am - intimacy - by whathef???? - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19280) - you deserved it (1507)
On 02/12/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by pinky (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12633) - you deserved it (3287)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (4907) - you deserved it (15756)
On 02/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12296) - you deserved it (8106)
On 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by stoopidpoop (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8361) - you deserved it (23121)
On 02/01/2010 at 9:34am - animals - by adad - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19047) - you deserved it (3150)
On 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by JK (man) - United States (California)
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