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i_heart_math

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i_heart_math

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i_heart_math's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom decided to do something new and borrowed some of my clothes. She's currently wearing a very small pair of short shorts and a very tight tank top. We're going to a very prestigious golf course and she won't change. FML

#16833815
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28689) - you deserved it (4404)

On 06/24/2011 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

#16830910
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35301) - you deserved it (9734)

On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher didn't make the glasses shrink, I'd bought smaller glasses. FML

#16812577
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30214) - you deserved it (5661)

On 06/23/2011 at 4:53am - kids - by wow - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my dad has been trying to take money out of my savings account to pay for divorce fees and a hammock. FML

#16812324
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30894) - you deserved it (2206)

On 06/23/2011 at 4:17am - money - by Username - United States

Today, I got all dressed up to go on a date with a guy. Upon getting to my house to pick me up, he told me he'd forgot to put on mascara, and asked if he could borrow some. FML

#16809094
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35701) - you deserved it (5387)

On 06/23/2011 at 12:24am - love - by wowohwow - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriends dog. After several trips around the block and plenty of strange looks I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

#16000939
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14806) - you deserved it (41327)

On 05/01/2011 at 4:20am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me as I was getting ready for bed and asked me to pick him up from the bar. Being a loving girlfriend I drive the 45 minutes; when I get there his friend informs me he left about 45 minutes ago. FML

#15999474
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31771) - you deserved it (4700)

On 05/01/2011 at 1:36am - love - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

#15948281
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65284) - you deserved it (7366)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44386) - you deserved it (5586)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

#15921187
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36226) - you deserved it (18799)

On 04/25/2011 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Ouch (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML

#15874125
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23491) - you deserved it (50910)

On 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm - intimacy - by Username - United States



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