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i_eat_you_now

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i_eat_you_now

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  • Number of visits : 179
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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i_eat_you_now's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML

#20530380
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46028) - you deserved it (5892)

On 03/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nopanties (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

#20200049
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35131) - you deserved it (3642)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33158) - you deserved it (4960)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

#20154996
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16364) - you deserved it (26912)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28404) - you deserved it (1833)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

#20091141
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35928) - you deserved it (2635)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States

Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML

#20088123
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28848) - you deserved it (4564)

On 09/25/2012 at 1:42pm - intimacy - by orgasmsareoverratedanyway (woman) - Norway (Nordland)

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

#20080363
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18092) - you deserved it (26546)

On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59367) - you deserved it (3052)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

#19568801
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33674) - you deserved it (9959)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML

#18260922
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29624) - you deserved it (3281)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:23am - love - by dharp7 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was asked how far I've gone with a guy. My answer? Eye contact. I'm 19. FML

#17420241
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35350) - you deserved it (7434)

On 08/09/2011 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I spent a full hour working on my British accent. FML

#16707397
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8608) - you deserved it (35497)

On 06/17/2011 at 3:32am - misc - by seriouslybored (woman) - United States (California)



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