iNinjaAri

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iNinjaAri

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  • Number of visits : 1098
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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iNinjaAri's page activity

Visits<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 6:05am

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iNinjaAri's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

by Dani / 11/28/2011 at 7:34am / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML

by thunderthighs644 / 11/22/2011 at 10:21pm / Health

Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML

by alliez108 / 11/17/2011 at 7:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter in law sent me another romantic text that was meant for her husband. Not only can't she spell for shit, the clichés she uses are horrifyingly embarrassing. The fact this keeps happening makes me want to slam her head in the oven. FML

by Username / 11/12/2011 at 4:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

by rj93 / 11/05/2011 at 9:43am / United Kingdom (Ballymena) / Health

Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML

by Grounded / 11/03/2011 at 5:18am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML

by blabla / 10/28/2011 at 9:30am / Brazil / Miscellaneous

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 12:17pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I had a job interview. The only moment I impressed the interviewer was when I talked about drama. He started to talk about a play I hadn't seen, but I decided to agree on everything he was saying. Suddenly he said, "the play doesn't actually exist." I silently left the room. FML

by Lyingg / 10/05/2011 at 4:33pm / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, after a great treadmill run at my gym, I noticed a stain on my clothing. Apparently my nipple chafed so badly that it bled through my white t-shirt, and I'd walked around the gym completely oblivious. FML

by sorenips / 10/03/2011 at 7:19pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

by danthecomplicate / 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids