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iNinjaAri

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iNinjaAri

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  • Number of visits : 837
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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iNinjaAri's page activity

Visits<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 6:05am

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iNinjaAri's favorite FMLs

Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35438) - you deserved it (8932)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had to bail on yet another date with an awesome guy. Every time I make a date, my hateful mother slips laxatives into my food so I'm glued to the shitter until 2am. This is the fourth time. FML

#20031010
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31490) - you deserved it (3499)

On 08/19/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by Lauren - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

#20030745
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25672) - you deserved it (4969)

On 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML

#20029819
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25578) - you deserved it (2172)

On 08/19/2012 at 12:00pm - love - by yarhyun1 (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my six year old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML

#20028447
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23598) - you deserved it (1966)

On 08/18/2012 at 4:34pm - kids - by yoggabe (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, the air bag system in my car somehow malfunctioned, and the air bag inflated while I was driving, causing me to lose control and crash into a street light. I ended up with a badly bruised face because the air bag had already deflated by then. FML

#20018268
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24513) - you deserved it (1461)

On 08/13/2012 at 4:06am - health - by stupid_airbag (man) - Australia

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

#20012782
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29793) - you deserved it (16412)

On 08/10/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

#20011526
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23734) - you deserved it (6109)

On 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by mary - United Kingdom

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

#20008307
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27934) - you deserved it (5779)

On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML

#20007202
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9417) - you deserved it (29548)

On 08/07/2012 at 3:48am - misc - by Embarrassed - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML

#20005230
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26027) - you deserved it (5175)

On 08/06/2012 at 2:37am - love - by shastadoe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML

#20002813
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32211) - you deserved it (1595)

On 08/04/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by m - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got on an elevator at the mall, along with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl talking on her cell. She spent the whole ride telling the person on the other end how hideous I looked and how I look like a pregnant sperm whale. I was too humiliated to even say anything. FML

#20001108
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29079) - you deserved it (4320)

On 08/03/2012 at 9:52pm - kids - by pimpslaprequired (man) - United States

Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML

#19998370
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22662) - you deserved it (2011)

On 08/02/2012 at 12:30pm - misc - by skrillexblewme - United States



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