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Mobility
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (47965) - you deserved it (14813)
On 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm - kids - by Dang-ItsDanielle (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12029) - you deserved it (56206)
On 03/06/2009 at 12:49pm - kids - by wetbutt (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went to get my eyebrows waxed at a korean salon. I have never been there before and it's hard to understand their accents. The women asked me if I wanted "them all off". Not fully understanding what she said, I agreed. When she showed me the mirror, she had taken off my whole eyebrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15939) - you deserved it (41305)
On 03/03/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by brows (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was introduced to my boyfriend's family at their family reunion for the first time. As I sat on the couch, his 4-year old sister comes in and jumps onto my lap. For a moment I was happy to think his sister liked me, only to hear her say "You're fat! I like fat things." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43833) - you deserved it (4199)
On 02/28/2009 at 5:52am - misc - by Judiee (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12070) - you deserved it (54389)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by wideman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I met this really attractive guy who introduced himself as Wyan. He was really cool and sweet and we got along pretty well. Then someone informed me that his name is Ryan and that he has a speech impediment, AFTER I had been referring to him as Wyan for quite some time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39216) - you deserved it (11254)
On 02/27/2009 at 2:58am - love - by hellosaila (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56227) - you deserved it (329649)
On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24449) - you deserved it (35460)
On 02/25/2009 at 2:05pm - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14012) - you deserved it (38971)
On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to chill with my best guy friend and his girlfriend, whom I recently met after I moved to the area. After a few beers, my buddy leaned over and tried to make out with me. I quickly backed up and shockingly looked over at his girlfriend to expect the same reaction. She winked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55552) - you deserved it (6472)
On 02/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by LilShawty2000 (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16829) - you deserved it (37660)
On 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by catfish - United States (Texas)
Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42013) - you deserved it (4262)
On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by isuckatlife (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42013) - you deserved it (4262)
On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by isuckatlife (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I decided to try this new cardio workout video I got. As I was obnoxiously bouncing around my room I heard a noise behind me. Turns out there were three boys outside my window watching. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11191) - you deserved it (21647)
On 02/19/2009 at 1:51am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23568) - you deserved it (36696)
On 02/15/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Monday 17 June 2013
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