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iNinjaAri

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iNinjaAri

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  • Number of visits : 756
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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iNinjaAri's page activity

Visits<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 6:05am

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iNinjaAri's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a haircut for the first time in almost a year. I thought it looked really nice and made me look good. On my way to CVS, I ran into one of my friends. He examined me and said, "You look... like a crack whore." FML

#919205
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41826) - you deserved it (4954)

On 04/11/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was in a store using the only bathroom there. After I was done, I realized I couldn't open the door. Panicked it locked me in, I banged on the door, and screamed for help. The security and a whole group of people gathered, only to find that I was pulling the door instead of pushing it. FML

#851826
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15094) - you deserved it (84914)

On 04/07/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, my mother and I went to lunch and there is a really cute waiter that works at the diner. I requested him to wait on us like I sometimes do. While we were waiting to be seated, I heard one waiter say to the cute one, "Ya, the creepy one is back, and this time she brought her mom!" FML

#801391
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18582) - you deserved it (63860)

On 04/04/2009 at 3:36pm - misc - by bezoar10 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (243699) - you deserved it (32125)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend was driving me to her house against my will when I said, "Sometimes it's annoying that you always decide where we go because you drive." She replied, "Yeah, I wish I could be more of the girl in this relationship." FML

#482680
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11601) - you deserved it (74715)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by lukey_G (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

#429248
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31906) - you deserved it (84824)

On 03/17/2009 at 11:15pm - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53933) - you deserved it (312369)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML

#261898
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39896) - you deserved it (28981)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - animals - by broussimousse - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

#242557
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50836) - you deserved it (9795)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

#242557
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50836) - you deserved it (9795)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

#234103
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55431) - you deserved it (17726)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm - kids - by Dang-ItsDanielle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

#225937
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14830) - you deserved it (62132)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:49pm - kids - by wetbutt (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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