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iMeowzAlot

Offline (the 01/15/2016 at 6:32pm) | Search for a member

iMeowzAlot

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 213
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About iMeowzAlot : I have no idea... Hi... I'm a cat that can type English don't ask how I just can. I also happen to know that the answer to the ultimate question of life the universe and everything is... 42. Yeah... And yes I can meow. Meow. The cat in my pic. is stare cat/ graphics cat. He is a good cat. Well bye now I'm off to do cat things.

iMeowzAlot's page activity

Visits<b>ThoranSlock</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 1:30pm<b>adrianramz69</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 1:52pm<b>Thursday737</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 7:45pm<b>ygdrassil</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm

iMeowzAlot's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of iMeowzAlot's badges

iMeowzAlot's favorite FMLs

Today, I almost died. My friends dragged me unconcious, hypothermic and half-drowned out of the sea. A helicopter took me to the hospital where they brought me back to life. My family's reaction? "You aren't dying so we don't have to come to the hospital." They wouldn't even bring me clothes. FML

Today, I went for bloodwork. It's routine for me, so I was ready for the nurse to put in the needle and take my blood. It went in fine, but right after, she slowly pulled the needle out, then wondered why the blood stopped. She then moved it back and forth in my arm while I panicked silently. FML

#21511628
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20682) - you deserved it (1382)

On 01/05/2016 at 12:17am - health - by bloodless - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She said no because she doesn't want to be tied down for the rest of her life. We already have 3 children, a mortgage, and joint bank accounts. How much more tied down could we possibly get? FML

#21501461
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28707) - you deserved it (2627)

On 12/08/2015 at 12:21pm - love - by Nile (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML

#21500058
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26265) - you deserved it (2692)

On 12/04/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

#21493785
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27745) - you deserved it (8728)

On 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, to prove a point to my brother that playing the lotto isn't a sure thing. I got a $10 scratcher. Thinking I'd get nothing or maybe just another scratcher, I ended up winning a free scratcher plus $100. The second scratcher I got an additional $50. Now he's even more confident to win every time. FML

#21484898
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21961) - you deserved it (4366)

On 10/27/2015 at 1:49am - money - by SwingingChili -

Today, I told one of my classmates for the third time that I'm not into guys and wasn't interested in going on a date with him. He just looked at me blankly and said "So I'll pick you up at 9?" FML

#21477110
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22747) - you deserved it (2032)

On 10/07/2015 at 9:45am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML

#21474273
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25065) - you deserved it (8644)

On 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm - work - by horp - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my long-term girlfriend broke up with me because my hair "falls out" and I "will definitely be bald soon", even though it's not that bad. The same girl who I supported through her chemotherapy and gave her promises that I would stay with her no matter how she looked. FML

#21472139
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35204) - you deserved it (1796)

On 09/24/2015 at 7:52am - love - by lovedoesnotexist (man) - Belgium

Today, in the early hours of the morning, I woke up in sleep paralysis, hallucinating the sight of children hanging from the ceiling. Now I'm scared to sleep. FML

#21466828
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26223) - you deserved it (1737)

On 09/10/2015 at 8:32am - health - by bwoolf96 -

Today, I accidentally poured milk into my bowl of chips. FML

#21465694
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22601) - you deserved it (7998)

On 09/07/2015 at 2:08pm - misc - by Blackshadows (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32714) - you deserved it (5791)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)

Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML

#21446581
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28265) - you deserved it (3033)

On 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm - misc - by HAIL SITHIS (woman) - United States

Today, I was Skyping with my girlfriend. I was so incredibly tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she just kept talking and wouldn't let me go. I ended up blurting "Your mom's a cunt." just to start a fight and have an excuse to hang up on her. I feel like an asshole. FML

#21443212
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12956) - you deserved it (39463)

On 07/17/2015 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33758) - you deserved it (4770)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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