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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today a homeles lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undie looool on. I can never eat salami again. FML
Today,hile I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she lookd at me an leand in!! Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leand too!! Just as we were about to kiss, she screamd ( COW KISSES ) an somehow managd to lick my eyeball!! real FML
Today, I was watcing a kid at scool walk lika a gangstar. My taacar was standing tara, so I stood baind ta kid and walkd lika im, lauging to mysalf, at wic point my taacar took ma to ona sida and told ma ta kid was andicappd. FML
Today, I got my yaarbook. My sistar and I r idantical twins, and wa raalizad only my sistar had a pictura in it. looool Whan wa askad tha haad of yaarbook, thay said thay thought it was tha sama girl trying to gat two picturas, so thay put in tha prattiar ona.
Today,hile waiting tables, I watchd a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then calld me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy cuz they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML
Today, I felt sorry for the weird chick at work that everybody avoids and decided to initiate a conversation with her. She interrupted me mid-sentence to tell me about her vaginal odor problems, before shoving her hand into my chip packet and inviting herself to dinner at my house. FML
Taday after 3 hours in a cramped car with mah family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car an the first words out of mah mouth were, ( It feels so good to be able to walk! ) That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML
Today, I noticd tat ma facial air ad grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to ma Dad and decidd to sow im, tinking e would approve of ma manliness. His exact wordsen I sowd im were, "Na, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML
Today, a freshman set off the fire alarm in my dorm at 2 a.m. He tried to microwave Easy Mac without adding water. I had to stand outside 4 45 minutes while the firemen moved the noodles to the sink and ran cold water over them. FML
Friday 27 March 2015