iJessX

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iJessX

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 March 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1038
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About iJessX : Hey

iJessX's page activity

Visits<b>Kreb</b> - the 03/01/2011 at 7:51pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 3:07pm<b>lazyman</b> - the 07/27/2010 at 9:20am<b>wilted_orchid</b> - the 03/06/2010 at 8:04pm<b>nicksatank</b> - the 02/13/2010 at 2:41pm<b>KaySL</b> - the 09/13/2009 at 11:37am<b>xxgfxx90</b> - the 08/22/2009 at 1:04pm<b>KiSsKiZzy</b> - the 08/20/2009 at 12:43am<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/05/2009 at 12:12pm

iJessX's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

iJessX's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML

by Hatty / 03/14/2010 at 6:50am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

by Catois / 03/05/2010 at 12:17am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I slid on ice and hit another car while driving to work. My car was totalled, and my leg hurt, while the other car had very little damage. Not two minutes later, the salt truck drove by, spraying the road. FML

by wrecked / 01/11/2010 at 8:43am / United States (Ohio) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML

by krisx3ftw / 01/11/2010 at 8:25am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I took the kids I'm babysitting to the farm to feed the animals. They were a little scared of the llama, so I showed them how nice it was by feeding it a lot of bread. Then, as I was telling the farmer how I loved the llama and wanted to take it home, it spit grass and bread all over my face. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2009 at 2:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

by NotThatKind / 08/24/2009 at 12:28am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a very pretty sunflower cake that I woke up incredibly early to make. It took me hours and a lot of money. It was for my grandparents anniversary and my whole family was invited. We only got to see the remains because the waiter gave it to the wrong family, and they ate it. FML

by sunflowercake / 08/23/2009 at 7:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML

by badtimingdude / 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm / Mauritius / Love

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 1:37am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

by anugla / 08/18/2009 at 1:02am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I asked my friends what NNAS was code for. They have been using this for about a month. After bothering one of them for a few hours, he finally told me. NNAS stands for Nataly Needs A Shower. I'm Nataly. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 12:38am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my friends what NNAS was code for. They have been using this for about a month. After bothering one of them for a few hours, he finally told me. NNAS stands for Nataly Needs A Shower. I'm Nataly. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 12:38am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my friends what NNAS was code for. They have been using this for about a month. After bothering one of them for a few hours, he finally told me. NNAS stands for Nataly Needs A Shower. I'm Nataly. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 12:38am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

by fmysexlife / 07/27/2009 at 1:06am / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I am allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

by emmey / 07/23/2009 at 3:43pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals