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iJessX

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iJessX

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 March 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 898
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About iJessX : Hey

iJessX's page activity

Visits<b>Kreb</b> - the 03/01/2011 at 7:51pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 3:07pm<b>lazyman</b> - the 07/27/2010 at 9:20am<b>wilted_orchid</b> - the 03/06/2010 at 8:04pm<b>nicksatank</b> - the 02/13/2010 at 2:41pm<b>KaySL</b> - the 09/13/2009 at 11:37am<b>xxgfxx90</b> - the 08/22/2009 at 1:04pm<b>KiSsKiZzy</b> - the 08/20/2009 at 12:43am<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/05/2009 at 12:12pm

iJessX's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

iJessX's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML

#9068483
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12125) - you deserved it (21529)

On 03/14/2010 at 6:50am - misc - by Hatty (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

#8837524
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22618) - you deserved it (12030)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I slid on ice and hit another car while driving to work. My car was totalled, and my leg hurt, while the other car had very little damage. Not two minutes later, the salt truck drove by, spraying the road. FML

#7275776
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24120) - you deserved it (3181)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:43am - misc - by wrecked (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML

#7275628
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36504) - you deserved it (5264)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:25am - love - by krisx3ftw (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22610) - you deserved it (40091)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I made a very pretty sunflower cake that I woke up incredibly early to make. It took me hours and a lot of money. It was for my grandparents anniversary and my whole family was invited. We only got to see the remains because the waiter gave it to the wrong family, and they ate it. FML

#4764898
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42371) - you deserved it (1954)

On 08/23/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by sunflowercake (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML

#4627317
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19676) - you deserved it (63643)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:34pm - love - by badtimingdude (man) - Mauritius

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

#4619260
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74136) - you deserved it (5907)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

#4618349
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51024) - you deserved it (17786)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - animals - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my friends what NNAS was code for. They have been using this for about a month. After bothering one of them for a few hours, he finally told me. NNAS stands for Nataly Needs A Shower. I'm Nataly. FML

#4617560
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15709) - you deserved it (48844)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked my friends what NNAS was code for. They have been using this for about a month. After bothering one of them for a few hours, he finally told me. NNAS stands for Nataly Needs A Shower. I'm Nataly. FML

#4617560
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15709) - you deserved it (48844)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked my friends what NNAS was code for. They have been using this for about a month. After bothering one of them for a few hours, he finally told me. NNAS stands for Nataly Needs A Shower. I'm Nataly. FML

#4617560
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15709) - you deserved it (48844)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

#4070299
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55324) - you deserved it (14799)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I am allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

#3981210
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17217) - you deserved it (41986)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:43pm - animals - by emmey (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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