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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54749) - you deserved it (4725)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States
Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32900) - you deserved it (2854)
On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44602) - you deserved it (7276)
On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46425) - you deserved it (2641)
On 12/18/2012 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by daughterinlaw (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30336) - you deserved it (2972)
On 12/17/2012 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by crazy mother in law (woman) -
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23100) - you deserved it (3234)
On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)
Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7509) - you deserved it (28097)
On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23943) - you deserved it (1334)
On 10/06/2012 at 3:49am - love - by BusinessTurtle - United States (Iowa)
Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23384) - you deserved it (1466)
On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States
Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14692) - you deserved it (5513)
On 09/27/2012 at 7:37am - misc - by red (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17801) - you deserved it (1451)
On 09/24/2012 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21671) - you deserved it (4925) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/21/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by minibuch1505 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45392) - you deserved it (7530)
On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I invited my very animal phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21513) - you deserved it (8239)
On 10/31/2009 at 7:08am - love - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (548737) - you deserved it (35292)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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