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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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huis

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huis
  • Town/Country : Singapore
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 478
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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huis's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (12360) - you deserved it (19234)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend asked me why girls don't have armpit hair. FML

#6758302 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (19626) - you deserved it (4092)

On 12/14/2009 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the doctor to get a pulled arm muscle checked. I told him I had been bowling, and it had just started to hurt badly. He said it was normal for a man of my age (35) to pull a muscle when lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I then told him it was on my son's Wii. FML

#6748353 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (6421) - you deserved it (15160)

On 12/14/2009 at 2:49am - health - by WIIslave (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML

#4321339 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (10361) - you deserved it (41645)

On 08/05/2009 at 11:04pm - animals - by dumbblonde (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the weather was nice so I decided to eat outside. I quickly found out that my new, expensive hair conditioner attracts bees. Lots of bees. FML

#3017474 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (33650) - you deserved it (4621)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:32am - health - by Stung (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML

#3017224 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (41627) - you deserved it (12357)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by oops... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML

#2896238 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (40079) - you deserved it (2280)

On 06/14/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

#2874076 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (31044) - you deserved it (44089)

On 06/14/2009 at 12:14am - intimacy - by BarbieKen (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML

#2780128 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (32768) - you deserved it (2948)

On 06/10/2009 at 6:50pm - health - by anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML

#2767405 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (49041) - you deserved it (4391)

On 06/10/2009 at 9:12am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML

#2711154 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (23660) - you deserved it (27346)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:54am - misc - by KBO (woman) - Australia

Today, my friend was complaining about how fat she was. To make her feel better I said, "Psh, you're not fat! In fact we're about the same weight!" She looked at me for a second, then burst into tears sobbing, "I'm fat! I'm fat!" FML

#2674249 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (45411) - you deserved it (6992)

On 06/06/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by fatty - United States (North Carolina)