About hoschiadedodi : I learned a lot from the mistakes I made in life. I'm actually thinking about making some more.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15797) - you deserved it (2419)
On 12/25/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4262) - you deserved it (51229)
On 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by paidback - United States
Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31270) - you deserved it (1953)
On 11/12/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by missmycomp (man) - Singapore
Today, my landlord came over while I wasn't home. My friend and her pets were thrown out by her husband. I'm the only person she knows in this state and she begged me to stay. I reluctantly told her fine; just don't answer the door. She did, with the animals, and told him she was living here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23295) - you deserved it (4986)
On 11/03/2009 at 10:59am - misc - by katurday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7147) - you deserved it (72761)
On 10/28/2009 at 5:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I bought a nice new dress for a work party. But when I went in, a coworker hurried me into the bathroom saying, "Don't worry we can fix this." She thought someone had been sick on me. Thanks. That was just the pattern of the dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19920) - you deserved it (5024)
On 10/27/2009 at 12:43pm - work - by yper (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97348) - you deserved it (23462)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25973) - you deserved it (3491)
On 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by sigh (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17711) - you deserved it (29403)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11198) - you deserved it (35976)
On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45832) - you deserved it (11147)
On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17855) - you deserved it (41590)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I discovered that my fiancé had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58417) - you deserved it (2568)
On 06/12/2009 at 12:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139843) - you deserved it (32566)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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