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hornyrabbit12's favorite FMLs
by MoreActionThanMe / 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm / United States / Animals
Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
by mm / 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Warrington) / Miscellaneous
by you / 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
by unfortunateMother / 09/18/2012 at 3:51pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Kids
by Mrs. Teacher / 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
by Gurl / 09/07/2012 at 6:32pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:33am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, my mother screamed at my brother for ages for playing a Nicki Minaj music video. She said it's "terrible, demonic garbage" that'll get us "spitroasted in Hell". I don't even disagree with the first part, but she does this kind of thing every single day when I get home from my night job. FML
by arghgffhdfg / 07/14/2012 at 8:22pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
by DwarfFrog / 06/18/2012 at 7:38am / United States / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 10:54am / China (Jiangsu) / Health
Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML
by sharkboy / 06/10/2012 at 10:33pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML
by WaffleMan / 06/08/2012 at 7:58am / United States (New Jersey) / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…
- Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless… Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our… Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom,…