Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About hoonyer : I live in California
Lately my life has been consumed by work, work, and more work :/
I am an avid fans of manga and animes
Some of my favorite are D. Gray Man, Elfen Lied, Naruto, Yu YU Hakusho, and Beelzebub to name a few.
As for music my favorite bands are Avenged Sevenfold, Sum 41, Hollywood Undead, Rise Against, Disturbed, and Blink 182
I also like to play video games :)
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML
Today, the power went out in my area. My wife and I were bored so I lit some candles, poured some wine, and left little to her imagination about what my intent was. We cuddled a while and as I leaned in for a kiss the power came back on. She was more excited that the WiFi was back than anything. FML
Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML
Friday 31 July 2015