About honeycutt8729 : I'm Kristin.
I read fml because I love to laugh.
I love working out.
Always in a good mood.
I love to cook.
I love the correct use of grammar and punctuation.
I have the perfect life with a supportive fiancé who cares about my happiness.
About honeycutt8729 : I'm Kristin.
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honeycutt8729's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
by dummy / 02/16/2012 at 7:03pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I dropped my bag to run after my two year old who had bolted in the parking lot. Once he was in his seat, I got in and drove away. I felt two large thumps as I drove over my own iPad, cellphone and wallet. FML
by ray / 02/16/2012 at 1:36pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, after recently moving to an apartment, we've already been asked if we wanted to buy drugs, had a children's chair thrown through the front window, our door painted with "CUNT LICKER" and my laundry stolen. FML
by Jeathrow / 02/16/2012 at 10:01am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by JukeboxValkyrie / 02/16/2012 at 2:52am / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, after applying for a job at the local pet store, I picked up a ferret. It began licking my cheek, causing me to turn my head. It then latched onto my ear and hung like a giant furry hoop earring. I screamed, then quietly left the building. FML
by parkertownparadise / 02/16/2012 at 2:43am / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 10:59pm / United States (Arkansas) / Health
Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Jedi2500 / 02/15/2012 at 6:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got my hands on some meet and greet passes for a concert. My fiancé and I got our picture taken with the band. A few moments later, in my excitement, instead of texting the picture to my friend, I accidentally deleted it. FML
by vixiecat / 02/15/2012 at 2:33pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
by sharpie2792 / 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by TerribleAddiction / 02/15/2012 at 12:50pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML
by jess / 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I wanted to freshen up my room, so I bought some Febreze. Standing on my bed, I began to spray, not noticing that the air vent directly across was turned on. The spray came directly back at me. The doctor says that the irritation in my eyes may last for several days. FML
by prettysmellingbedroom / 02/15/2012 at 9:18am / United States / Health
Today, in a rush to get ready, I put on some "sexy" panties that I bought years ago. By the second hour of work, they were so tight and uncomfortable, I had to cut slits up the sides to avoid cutting off the circulation to my legs. FML
by too tight / 02/15/2012 at 6:26am / United States (Ohio) / Health