honeycutt8729

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Offline (the 04/04/2016 at 10:58pm)

honeycutt8729

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honeycutt8729
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 May 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5123
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About honeycutt8729 : I'm Kristin.
I read fml because I love to laugh.
I love working out.
Always in a good mood.
I love to cook.
I love the correct use of grammar and punctuation.
I have the perfect life with a supportive fiancé who cares about my happiness.

honeycutt8729's page activity

Visits<b>tiitsmcgee</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 11:58am<b>pred8885</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 9:23am<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 1:16am<b>felicianchris</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 11:27pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 9:23pm<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 9:21pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 3:18am<b>freeport_aidan</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 6:23am<b>Michaelaarnett</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 12:54pm<b>Rich531</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 7:07pm<b>siuolwt</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 4:13am<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 12:54pm<b>tfowl61692</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 6:28pm<b>Augenna</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:52am<b>mrowl96</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Yadiloh52</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 2:14pm<b>jozephizcoolz</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 1:43pm<b>Jpav1</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 1:25pm

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honeycutt8729's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Intimacy

Today, I had just finished up at work. I was standing on a street corner, waiting to cross to get to my car on the other side. I had three people pull up beside me and ask me how much I charged. FML

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

by StinkyandStupid / 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm / United States / Transportation

 Today, I decided to finally try out the veggie slicer I bought a few months ago to make healthy homemade potato chips. Along with the sliced potatoes, I am now missing about a quarter inch chunk of skin from the side of my hand and quite a bit of blood. At least the chips were good. FML

by missgayle319 / 03/15/2012 at 3:53am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML

by Bebefer / 03/15/2012 at 3:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my braces put on. This is the second time I've had them. The first time was after my cousin opened a car door in my face. This time a jock punched me in the mouth for saying that Reese's taste the same as Snickers peanut butter. FML

by braceface / 03/14/2012 at 4:12pm / United States / Health

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

by zztopspinner / 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got pulled over for drunk driving. This is the second time its happened. I was completely sober both times. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2012 at 3:33am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

by anonymous / 03/14/2012 at 1:18am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I hooked up with my ex-girlfriend, after she confessed to still being in love with me. I logged into Facebook after she left, only to find her status set to "I think I just made a big mistake." FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2012 at 7:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

by Rynne S. / 03/13/2012 at 2:12am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working retail when a group of older gentlemen came in looking for a good sound system. I showed them a top-range system and gushed about it in detail, trying to close the sale. One of them snorted and said, "See Dave, girls like her are the reason ball gags were invented." FML

by sandi519 / 03/12/2012 at 11:10pm / United States / Work

Today, I realized how poor I am when I had to use sharpies to color in the worn spots on my dress shoes before leaving for work. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

by yamsterr / 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United States / Love