About honeycutt8729 : I'm Kristin.
I read fml because I love to laugh.
I love working out.
Always in a good mood.
I love to cook.
I love the correct use of grammar and punctuation.
I have the perfect life with a supportive fiancé who cares about my happiness.
About honeycutt8729 : I'm Kristin.
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honeycutt8729's favorite FMLs
by Krissy / 04/05/2012 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy
by anonymous / 04/05/2012 at 5:53pm / United States (Texas) / Geek
by displeased / 04/05/2012 at 2:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML
by Lionman / 04/05/2012 at 1:11am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by KatieB / 04/04/2012 at 5:11pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy
by beagle1 / 04/03/2012 at 11:10am / United States (Tennessee) / Work
Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML
by Wannabees / 04/03/2012 at 1:13am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I said, "It would be hard for me to conceal my weapon." She instantly replied, "Not really, it's like finding a needle in a haystack, you'll be alright." FML
by DanteWest1000 / 04/03/2012 at 12:43am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 12:17pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 03/30/2012 at 1:10am / New Zealand / Miscellaneous
by scarletscarface / 03/29/2012 at 11:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML
by Anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 9:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 8:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…