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Offline (the 04/04/2016 at 10:58pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 May 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6015
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About honeycutt8729 : I'm Kristin.
I read fml because I love to laugh.
I love working out.
Always in a good mood.
I love to cook.
I love the correct use of grammar and punctuation.
I have the perfect life with a supportive fiancé who cares about my happiness.

honeycutt8729's page activity

Visits<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 2:12pm<b>tiitsmcgee</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 11:58am<b>pred8885</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 9:23am<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 1:16am<b>felicianchris</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 11:27pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 9:23pm<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 9:21pm<b>Kuibe</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 3:18am<b>freeport_aidan</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 6:23am<b>Michaelaarnett</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 12:54pm<b>Rich531</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 7:07pm<b>siuolwt</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 4:13am<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 12:54pm<b>tfowl61692</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 6:28pm<b>Augenna</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:52am<b>mrowl96</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Yadiloh52</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 2:14pm<b>jozephizcoolz</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 1:43pm

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honeycutt8729's favorite FMLs

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stops and asks if he can eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

by Krissy / 04/05/2012 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I realized my Internet addiction had gone too far when I tried to Google what was in my freezer. FML

by anonymous / 04/05/2012 at 5:53pm / United States (Texas) / Geek

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

by displeased / 04/05/2012 at 2:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML

by Lionman / 04/05/2012 at 1:11am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend was over. I asked my dad how long until dinner was ready, his reply was, "Five minutes, so no, you can't go upstairs for a quickie". FML

by KatieB / 04/04/2012 at 5:11pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy

Today, I met separately with the President and Chairman of the company regarding a product that I'm designing. Each ordered me to do the opposite of whatever the other instructed. FML

by beagle1 / 04/03/2012 at 11:10am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML

by Wannabees / 04/03/2012 at 1:13am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I said, "It would be hard for me to conceal my weapon." She instantly replied, "Not really, it's like finding a needle in a haystack, you'll be alright." FML

by DanteWest1000 / 04/03/2012 at 12:43am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, a guy in a fancy car tailed me for twenty minutes, just so he could take a picture of my license plate and tell me there's a $300 fine for flicking cigarette ashes out your window. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 12:17pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so excited to hear my phone get a message that I jumped out of my seat. It was the TV, advertising texting plans. FML

by Anon / 03/30/2012 at 1:10am / New Zealand / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave myself paper cuts on the sides of my mouth while licking the cover of a pudding cup. FML

by scarletscarface / 03/29/2012 at 11:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 9:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 8:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy