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honestjane

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honestjane

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 428
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About honestjane : I'm a police officer with 12 years of experience. I work 12 hour shifts that rotate day and night shift. My police department has some of the lowest paid officers in the region. On my days off I work extra duty jobs to make ends meet. I'm a single income household and have 2 kids that I work hard to support. I also just realized that if I commit a felony crime and go to prison I would get to see my kids more as a criminal than I do as a law enforcement officer.

honestjane's page activity

Visits<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:19am<b>sjwill100</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 11:46pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 10:51pm<b>max367</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 5:22pm<b>Sp4de</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 10:18pm<b>Borngemini77</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 11:45pm<b>gc327072</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 4:28pm<b>cptmorgan15</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 3:42pm<b>WiseGirl98</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 11:29pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 11:32pm<b>perdix</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 1:46pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 8:59pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 12:57pm<b>MythicalPanda</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 12:37pm<b>bfsd42</b> - the 03/20/2013 at 4:08pm<b>baba01</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 7:20pm<b>TheBrochure</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 3:30pm<b>YepThatsMeee</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 1:43am

honestjane's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

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honestjane's favorite FMLs

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41419) - you deserved it (12492)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49520) - you deserved it (10679)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my brother yelled at me, calling me a "no-good fucking whore", because I couldn't fix his laptop. The same laptop he threw on the floor after screaming "FUCKING HEAL MEEE!" at his game. As ever, my parents took his side, refusing to believe that I can't fix a cracked monitor. FML

#20539298
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38591) - you deserved it (2379)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:57am - misc - by cunts, cunts everywhere - Australia

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35393) - you deserved it (6786)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

#20525332
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16215) - you deserved it (34624)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

#20524189
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37836) - you deserved it (6050)

On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

#20523889
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27713) - you deserved it (3748)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53688) - you deserved it (3911)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

#20016279
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45765) - you deserved it (2993)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by happybirthday - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31103) - you deserved it (8573)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37230) - you deserved it (4005)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12119) - you deserved it (25769)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13340) - you deserved it (54581) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I picked up my daughter from preschool. Her teacher handed me her nap blankets and mentioned there was an extra article of clothing I might want to take home. I looked in-between the blankets and saw a pair of my giant granny panties that had gotten mixed in with her stuff. FML

#19462191
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18680) - you deserved it (3979)

On 04/13/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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