Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hoellenfahrt

Search for a member

hoellenfahrt

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2837
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

hoellenfahrt's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:10pm<b>Bad_Boy1321</b> - the 11/06/2010 at 5:30pm

hoellenfahrt's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

hoellenfahrt's favorite FMLs

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32899) - you deserved it (6872)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

#15852392
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32948) - you deserved it (16551)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49892) - you deserved it (8081)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46877) - you deserved it (13887)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

#14805791
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31331) - you deserved it (4232)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML

#14737614
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57155) - you deserved it (6769)

On 01/27/2011 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by JordanVilleneuve (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found the birthday card my grandma had mailed. Apparently, it contained a gift of $100. Too bad it was in my mom's trash can, opened, with no money. She told my grandma it must have gotten lost in the mail. FML

#14482279
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35645) - you deserved it (2138)

On 01/06/2011 at 2:49am - money - by Username -

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about our new year's resolutions. I started telling him that I wanted to lose some weight. He interrupted me, saying, "Yeah yeah, we all know you're fat, whatever." He then went on a 30 minute speech about how he'd really like to take more pictures of his cat in 2011. FML

#14463244
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26181) - you deserved it (5632)

On 01/04/2011 at 2:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was helping an older lady return her previously bought items to customer service. As she walked away and said "Thanks," I tried to say "You're welcome" and "No problem" at the same time. I ended up saying "Your problem". She scowled at me. FML

#13958781
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19569) - you deserved it (7521)

On 11/24/2010 at 4:52am - work - by romedizzle (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

#13927798
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17595) - you deserved it (48536)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML

#13711659
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34788) - you deserved it (16351)

On 11/04/2010 at 5:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML

#13642352
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52111) - you deserved it (3877)

On 10/29/2010 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend got mugged. I found out because the mugger had the courtesy to ring me, after I texted several times asking where he was, to say "He won't reply. He got robbed." FML

#13634930
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30649) - you deserved it (2815)

On 10/29/2010 at 2:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

#13614950
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28252) - you deserved it (2512)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by nothingdoes (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: