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hockeyhouse's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a plaster cast removed from my arm. After telling the nurse it felt like the saw was cutting my skin, she tells me there is no way that it could touch my skin and that I was being paranoid. She cracked open the cast. Burns, blisters and bleeding skin were revealed. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2010 at 2:23pm / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy
by person / 12/26/2010 at 12:59pm / Jordan (Amman Governorate) / Health
by homeless / 12/14/2010 at 1:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Reasondon / 12/13/2010 at 3:29am / United States (Michigan) / Money
Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2010 at 2:10pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Health
by wow / 11/25/2010 at 2:32am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous
Today, a cop almost rear-ended my car, slammed on the gas with no warning, swerved around me, flipped me the bird, then cut me off and then drove a full ten miles under the speed limit. When I changed lanes to overtake him, he pulled me over for road rage. FML
by serveandprotectyeahright / 11/20/2010 at 9:00am / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML
by everythingWASperfect / 11/13/2010 at 9:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML
by Anonymous / 11/10/2010 at 10:29am / United Kingdom (York) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 11/05/2010 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Animals
Today, while setting up for a party I was having, I put black lights into our bathroom for the cool bright, neon color you get when you pee. When I turn them on to see where I need to continue cleaning, I see many, small, yellow hand prints on the walls. I have a nine year old brother. FML
by Anonymous / 10/31/2010 at 5:05am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I started college after a night out. I'd got tipsy at the club and started dancing with a cute guy. He asked for my number. I didn't want to give it to him, so I gave him a rejection number. Guess who's the new professor for my bio class? And yes, he recognized me. FML
by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 7:51pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort… Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me… Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the…
- Today, I’m a trainee who recently arrived in a prestigious company. My boss walked in on me sorting… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, I’m an intern and was given a pile of files. Do I have to process them? Nay! Simply remove…