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hockeyhouse

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  • Number of visits : 1334
  • Number of comments : 123
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hockeyhouse's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

#18579511
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29792) - you deserved it (7636)

On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12973) - you deserved it (41192)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14601) - you deserved it (39179)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML

#18378000
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10394) - you deserved it (33070)

On 11/28/2011 at 6:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

#18254436
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12512) - you deserved it (56790)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I couldn't tell her where the vitamins were in the pharmacy. The manager came and yelled at me for being lazy and incompetent. I work in the store across the street from the pharmacy. FML

#18190059
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29809) - you deserved it (2296)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:45am - work - by jodafish - Canada (Quebec)

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

#18150713
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41734) - you deserved it (3767)

On 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm - work - by EunJung - United States

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26425) - you deserved it (4896)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20000) - you deserved it (33288)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML

#18026685
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9939) - you deserved it (58944)

On 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by tommyboy783 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32046) - you deserved it (6335)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, my mom found a new way to get me to clean my room. She piled everything from my floor in front of my wardrobe and padlocked my dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in my room. The worst part? She put over a hundred decoys in there too. FML

#17880889
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10302) - you deserved it (34216)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by Kazuya - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

#17789217
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32543) - you deserved it (2885)

On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was working at the golf course, two kids stole a golf cart and pulled a snowboard behind it. When I tried to stop them, they ran me over. FML

#17777844
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23140) - you deserved it (3647)

On 09/19/2011 at 1:09am - work - by Branman2480 - United States (New York)

Today, after being cut out of the car, on the way to hospital in the ambulance, we were involved in another accident. FML

#17736251
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33912) - you deserved it (1975)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:07pm - health - by skitzobiatch69 - Australia (Western Australia)



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