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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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hockeyhouse

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hockeyhouse
  • Town/Country : US
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 585
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hockeyhouse's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

#18976293 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (2951) - you deserved it (4098)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - India

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920 (248)

I agree, your life sucks (26734) - you deserved it (1453)

On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon

Today, while riding back from a weekend away with my boyfriend, we crashed his motorbike, resulting in us getting thrown over a barbed wire fence into a forest. I woke up in hospital. Apparently, in his adrenaline rush, he climbed back on his bike and continued his trip, forgetting all about me. FML

#18868829 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (10552) - you deserved it (751)

On 01/21/2012 at 6:59am - misc - by superficialheart - China

Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML

#18841081 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (9561) - you deserved it (774)

On 01/18/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by meh - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

#18579511 (307)

I agree, your life sucks (8133) - you deserved it (2161)

On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653 (314)

I agree, your life sucks (3595) - you deserved it (12060)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975 (237)

I agree, your life sucks (3797) - you deserved it (11445)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML

#18378000 (247)

I agree, your life sucks (7631) - you deserved it (21080)

On 11/28/2011 at 6:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

#18254436 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (3384) - you deserved it (18690)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I couldn't tell her where the vitamins were in the pharmacy. The manager came and yelled at me for being lazy and incompetent. I work in the store across the street from the pharmacy. FML

#18190059 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (22306) - you deserved it (1471)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:45am - work - by jodafish - Canada (Quebec)

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

#18150713 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (31582) - you deserved it (2523)

On 11/03/2011 at 8:16pm - work - by EunJung - United States

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977 (272)

I agree, your life sucks (8204) - you deserved it (1522)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675 (346)

I agree, your life sucks (14798) - you deserved it (21934)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML

#18026685 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (7599) - you deserved it (39930)

On 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by tommyboy783 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351 (346)

I agree, your life sucks (9695) - you deserved it (1821)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States