hockeyhouse

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hockeyhouse

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2203
  • Number of comments : 123
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hockeyhouse's page activity

Visits<b>Dr_Awesome654</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 2:11pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 6:14pm<b>saxyguy</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 1:46am<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 7:06am<b>jill97</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 11:46pm<b>_jack117_</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 8:55am<b>anon___franta</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 5:37pm<b>rieebee</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 9:52am<b>MdMan2</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 11:29pm<b>mikuxxhatsune</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 9:50am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:01am<b>liljimmy73</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 5:34am<b>kiki1705</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:18pm<b>mostdope_alissa</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 2:47pm<b>leftward</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 9:25am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 3:09pm<b>Gavin3225</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:45am<b>Squtchy</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 10:56pm

hockeyhouse's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of hockeyhouse's badges

hockeyhouse's favorite FMLs

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

by Shelby / 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a rowing machine at the gym, listening to a podcast. Something funny was said, I laughed, lost my balance and fell off, with my feet still stuck in the footrests. Someone had to come and help me off. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 10:06am / Ireland (Cork) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

by girly girly / 05/26/2012 at 10:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

by cockblocked / 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML

by Jenn P / 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

by erockinthesuburb / 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

by Anonymoosey / 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm / United States / Kids

Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 1:07pm / India / Intimacy

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

Today, while riding back from a weekend away with my boyfriend, we crashed his motorbike, resulting in us getting thrown over a barbed wire fence into a forest. I woke up in hospital. Apparently, in his adrenaline rush, he climbed back on his bike and continued his trip, forgetting all about me. FML

by superficialheart / 01/21/2012 at 6:59am / China / Transportation

Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML

by meh / 01/18/2012 at 12:21am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous